The Rock Farmer's Daughters
by CrazyNutBob
Summary: AU; Pinkie Pie misses the Rainboom - as a result, she never becomes a party pony. Likewise, she never threw that party that inspired Cheese Sandwich to become a party pony. Even so, they meet when Cheese ends up stumbling into the nearby town, and begins working on the rock farm with Pinkamena and her sisters.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Yo, what's up? Just tryin' my hand at a MLP fanfic, and apparently it's an AU where Pinkie ended up not witnessing the Sonic Rainboom (and someone else wielded the Element of Laughter; I'll leave that to your imagination). When it comes to FIM, I have to admit, it's a very good and entertaining show, though not without its hiccups.**

**Admittedly, I usually just stay far away from shipping, especially with the MLP fandom. *brr* I'm not a fan of most of the pairings for MLP:FIM, since they don't appeal to me at all for some reason. The exception? CheesePie. Thanks to "Pinkie Pride", I've come to like Pinkie Pie more and Cheese Sandwich has become my favorite stallion. And thus, I fell in love with the ship. **

**I find it kind of strange that I'm doing something that basically takes away the charm of the ship: the fact that they're super party ponies who spread joy everywhere they go. This is Pinkie staying on the rock farm and thus, she never threw that party that inspired Cheese. **

**Okay, I'm pretty sure you've had enough of my rambing, hahaha. I'll just begin the story now.**

* * *

The skies were cloudy as they always were, unwilling to let even a sliver of sunlight through. The land was barren, and there were only rocks of every size scattered atop the soil. Trees completely stripped of leaves stood in a few spaces, providing more gloom for the landscape. Other trees made up a forest nearby, and though they were a sign of life, they still didn't brighten up the place.

Among the rocks sat a farmhouse, with a windmill beside it and a silo several yards away. A simple fence surrounded the structures, which a family of Earth ponies called 'home.'

A little pink filly had pushed the last of her rocks into a pile and glanced around, searching for even a smidgen of color in the dreary landscape. When she saw that there was none, she sighed, and turned toward the house, her neck aching from her constant slouch that day.

She had just barely come into the house when she heard the voice of a mare speak her name.

"Pinkamena?"

The little filly looked up, gazing at her mother with her big, blue eyes. Next thing she knew, she was balancing a bowl of stone soup on her head, while her mother pointed up the stairs. Not much needed to be said on why she was doing this, and so she followed the silent directions, briefly glancing at her father and two of her sisters in the process.

Pinkamena shakily climbed the stairs, praying that she wouldn't drop the soup. Not only would it land her in trouble, but she wouldn't be able to shake the guilt of wasting the meal that was meant for her sick older sister. She took deep breaths as she ascended each step, with the phrase "so far, so good" repeating in her head.

That's when a sudden boom thundered in the air and shook the house. Pinkamena could hear the sisters below her shriek, and her father shouted something drowned out by the noise. She ended up dropping the bowl, though it miraculously landed right side up on one of the steps with only a minor spill. Her eyes were wide and her knees were shaking as she looked at the bowl and pondered the source of the boom. She was tempted to run to the window and look outside to see what had caused all the fuss.

However, she had a job to do, and she was going to finish it. Her big sister was waiting! So, she got the bowl onto her head once again, and continued her ascent, wishing her straight hair could grip it in order to keep it from falling.

She made it to the top of the stairs, and made her way to the room she shared with her sisters. She bumped open the door, and walked in just as she heard a rasping cough.

The cough came from a gray-coated, purple maned filly in one of the beds. She covered her mouth with her hoof as she coughed, and shudders went through her body. Once she finished her cough, she wiped her mouth, and looked out the window with an emotionless stare.

"Maud?" Pinkamena asked. "Are you okay?"

Maud continued to stare out the window, showing no sign having heard her. Pinkamena walked forward, still balancing the soup on her head as she approached. She had arrived at Maud's beside when the sick filly finally replied.

"I'll be fine," Maud said. She slowly turned to Pinkamena, who carefully slid the bowl off her head and onto Maud's lap. The older sister blinked, her half-lidded eyes on the soup that had been delivered. She murmured a word of thanks before leaning forward and taking a sip.

Pinkamena glanced out the window, and was surprised upon seeing no trace of the clouds that had covered the sky before. Instead there was a vast expanse of light blue above the landscape. Her mind went back to the boom a minute before, and asked, "Maud, did you see what made that big booming noise?"

Maud was still sipping her soup when Pinkamena asked this, and it took a few moments before she rose from the bowl, glanced outside, and answered, "It was a colorful shockwave in the sky."

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow and tilted her head at that answer. Maud ignored the look and added, "It cleared the sky… and made a rainbow."

Pinkamena still held that look, not knowing what to make of Maud's answer. She was a little disappointed that she missed seeing something so unusual, but considering it made the house shake, who knows what it would have done to her had she stayed outside. Still, she couldn't help but sigh. Seeing a rainbow would have been nice.

She watched as Maud took another sip of the soup.

* * *

Sometime after said boom, a lonely spirit left home.

The little orange colt plodded along the dirt road, his head hung as low as his spirits were. Though it was a bright and sunny day, he could feel clouds hanging over him. And despite the near silence of the field that the path cut through, he could hear voices in his head, calling him by every name that had been slapped onto him without a second thought. Every name, except his own.

"Four-eyes", referring to the glasses he wore.

"Curly", referring to the brown curls of his mane.

"Blank flank", referring to his lack of a cutie mark.

"Squeaker", referring to the squeaks that came out when he tried to speak.

"Dork", because that much was true, as was "Wimp", "Spineless", and many others.

Of course, part of the reason why he had many nicknames bestowed upon him was that nopony knew his name. He'd always be tongue-tied when introduced to someone new, especially if it was a filly. Failing to get his name out the first time would result in repeated interruptions when he nervously tried correcting those who called him names. Those always descended into a mini riot where he was the prime target, leading to him hiding from everypony the rest of the day.

He shook his head, trying to shake those memories. He left that life behind; he swore he was never going back. He sighed, and repeated his name to himself.

"My name is Cheese Sandwich," he muttered. "Cheese Sandwich… Cheese Sandwich… Cheese Sandwich…"

His stomach began to growl. His own name being that of a kind of food was a hefty reminder that he had hardly anything to eat, his rations already reduced to nearly nothing. With a grimace, he looked up and scanned the area with his green eyes. He spotted a town not too far away, and where there's a town, there's food.

He took a deep breath. If he wanted to be fed, he'd have to talk to somepony. Did he have bits to pay for anything? What if these ponies didn't take kindly to strange colts asking for food?

His stomach rumbled again, and he exhaled. He broke into a trot for the town, figuring that talking to somepony was better than starving to death.

* * *

Cheese Sandwich curled up under the canopy of a tree, weary from the day he had. He was successful in finding food; however, he got in trouble with some apple farmers, could not form words to order something in every dining place he visited, and got himself kicked out of one place for reasons he did not know. He counted himself lucky to have even found food at all, considering what bits he had found had been spent on a simple, pink-frosted cupcake.

He began to wonder if running away from home was a good idea. He was filled with doubt about his ability to survive on his own, and pondered going back. Even if he had no friends, he at least had food and shelter. Of course, he reminded himself that he was not going back.

He yawned, and took off his glasses, placing them in the case he had packed in his sack. As he did so, he began to think up ways to try to get by. Resorting to stealing was certainly not an option; his heart was far too soft for that. Become a wild pony in that nearby jungle? Maybe not; from what he heard, the residents of this town were terrified of that place. There was no way he'd survive in there.

Start working a job or something? That was certainly something to consider.

He'd need to find the courage to ask somepony to hire a colt.

That was a thought he'd have to ponder the next morning.


	2. Unwanted Attention

_Several Years Later_

It was the crack of dawn. The rock farm was slowly being illuminated by the light of the rising sun seeping through the clouds, the blue ground and black lumps speckling it lightening into dull gray and brown rocks resting in dust and dirt of the same color. The air was cool on one's skin, and the freshness of it made one want to continue drinking it in.

A tan stallion stood on his porch, taking a deep whiff of the morning air. His amber eyes scanned the landscape before him, and he casually chewed on a piece of straw. Thinking about the work ahead of them that day, he could feel his bones begin to ache. He snorted and adjusted his hat, thinking, _No ache's going to stop today's work. _

His wife walked out onto the porch and stood in her place beside him. She too smelled the air, and then glanced at the stern stallion. She cleared her throat and said, "We're running low on food again, Igneous. Better send one of the girls to town today."

Igneous bobbed his head and asked, "Whose turn is it to go to town today, Cloudy?"

"Pinkamena's."

Igneous snorted again, and sighed. "Wake the girls up."

* * *

Cloudy Quartz opened the door to the girls' room, finding three of them buried under their covers. She could hear snores from one bed, a silver tail slumping over the side of another, and the strands of dark pink hair spread out on the pillow of another, sourcing from the mare bundled up in her blankets.

The only one not asleep was the oldest mare, Maud, who merely looked out the window at the field. She knew that her mother had walked in; she just didn't show it.

Cloudy just needed to wake the other three up. With a stomp of her hoof, she shouted, "Pinkamena! Marble! Limestone! It's time to get up! Get ready and come down for breakfast!"

Three simulataneous groans came from the beds, and the three mares rose from them. The gray one with a darker gray mane was wiping drool from her mouth; the blue-gray one with a silver mane was rubbing her eyes; and the pink one was pulling strands of her long hair out of her mouth. They all opened their eyes and looked around, sighing when they realized that they had been pulled out of dreamland.

Cloudy nodded and said, "All right, make haste, girls." Then she turned around and trotted out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Maud slid off her bed and walked to the mirror. She took one look at her reflection, and muttered, "It looks good."

The gray one, Marble, looked at her reflection next. Upon spotting the cowlick that had formed, she dabbed her hoof with her tongue and smoothed it down.

The blue one, Limestone had her turn next. She felt the back of her head for any bird's nests that had formed during her slumber, and breathed a sigh of relief when she found none.

Pinkamena was last, and took a look at her reflection. She fanned her mane out with her hooves, and then smoothed it back down when she was seemingly satisfied. Smelling breakfast, she followed her sisters down the stairs to see what their mother had cooked.

As they ate, Cloudy informed Pinkamena about her trip to town. The pink mare's mood went from dull to sour in an instant.

* * *

To say this boxcar was uncomfortably noisy was an understatement. And it wasn't just because it was a rickety old car.

Cheese Sandwich could not sleep in the presence of the ruffians that he shared it with, for fear that they'd steal what little he carried. A plain brown poncho to keep him from getting too dusty, his glasses case, a small bag of bits, and a bag of food were all he had. He warily glanced at them every minute, seeing the usual games the boisterous ponies played and catching snippets of conversations that some had. He caught some of the stallions eyeing him with glares or suggestive looks, and he stayed scooted into his corner, waiting for the next stop so he could slip out as quickly as he could.

Most of the time he walked, but there were times when he'd slip into a boxcar to travel. Usually he would be alone or with a friendly stranger. These strangers, however, did not seem to be friendly, at least to him. Did he look like an easy target, due to his eyeglasses and lanky physique? He certainly stood out from the bulky, greasy group he was with.

He scraped some dirt off his hooves, scattering it around in his corner. Of course, not long after he started doing this, he could hear the steady clopping of hooves approaching him. Cheese could smell the other stallion already, and it wasn't a pleasant smell.

"Well, well, well…"

Cheese looked up, finding himself face to face with a brown, green-haired stallion with a wicked grin on his face. He felt his stomach lurch at the possible things the stallion wanted to do to him. The greasy musclehead stealing his stuff was the least of his worries.

The larger stallion continued, "What's a little toothpick like you hanging with us?"

Cheese took off his glasses, and began to wipe them with a cloth pulled from a pocket on the inside of his poncho. The voice in his head was telling him to run, but unless he wanted to throw himself off a moving train, he was going nowhere.

The other pony bumped him. "Well?"

Cheese snorted and answered, "Just traveling, like I always do." He briefly glanced at the tiny brown hoof prints on his flank, representing the thing he had been doing for years.

"Always?" the other stallion chuckled. "Been on some adventures?"

"A few. Crazy stories I should tell someday."

"Ah… so you've had your share of wild rides?"

The tone which the other pony said that made Cheese shudder. The sense that this conversation was not going to end well was gnawing at him in every place, and he was considering bolting out of the boxcar, whether or not the train stopped. He put his glasses back on, picked up his things, and attempted to walk out of his corner, only to find himself surrounded.

"Now, now, we just want to be friends, Mister… Mister…"

Cheese didn't answer. He ran his hoof through his curly mane and took deep breaths. The green-maned pony and his two buddies expected him to answer with his name, and frankly, those creeps were the kind of ponies he didn't want knowing his name. He had to escape somehow.

So, without thinking, he threw his bag of bits at the first pony's face. When the larger stallion staggered back in surprise, Cheese galloped through the opening that was made and went to the door. As he started to slide it open, he noticed the other two making their way toward him. He quickly threw his bag of food at them, and cracked the door open just big enough for him to squeeze through.

He started to slip out the door, and the wind was already blowing through his already crazy mane. He could see that the train was chugging through a field of dry grass, which was better than the drop he imagined. He had squeezed himself out halfway when he felt his tail being chomped on and pulled. In a state of panic, he shot out his back leg, which collided with somepony if the pained cry was anything to go by. Luckily, it was the same pony that had his tail, so Cheese was free to pop through the door and tumble into the grass.

Dizzy and aching all over, he forced himself to sit up, and watched as the train chugged away. Tapping his glasses, which somehow survived the experience, he laughed in triumph… until he realized that he had thrown his bits and food at the thugs. His laughter then transformed into a frustrated scream.

* * *

Later that day, Pinkamena made her trip to town, with a list of what to get. Flour, salt, and sugar were at the top of the list. Oats and cornmeal were just below them. After the first five, it was just a list of various fruits and vegetables. Figuring that they were going to get a lot of this stuff, she had gotten the cart and rolled it into town.

She had just barely crossed the railroad tracks before she heard the whistle of the train pulling into the station. She took a curious glance at it, and saw a bunch of thugs pouring out of one boxcar. She wondered how long it would take for someone else to notice them, and continued to walk.

She purchased the first few things on the list, keeping her head level about her chore. It was her least favorite, even though it got her away from the farm for a little bit. The bags were placed in her cart, and she continued her trip through town.

As she made her way to the produce market, she glanced at the townsfolk that were outside that day. Mares and stallions were chatting, exchanging goods, or going on walks. Fillies and colts played games in the streets, and some of the more mischievous ones were playing pranks on the more uppity citizens. Older ponies were content to sit and watch the foals play.

Pinkamena was content to watch the playing foals as well. Of course, when a teasing colt ran by with a doll, pursued by a crying filly, she quickly snatched it out of the colt's mouth, and returned it to its owner. The filly squeaked a word of thanks before galloping off. Giving a warning glare to the colt, Pinkamena continued her journey to the produce.

Despite grocery shopping being her least favorite chore, she was quite comfortable in the town. In fact, the trip would be her favorite chore if it wasn't for one thing.

Or rather, one pony, that she was not pleased to bump into.

Light green coat, messy red mane, and amber eyes. A smug grin and half-lidded eyes always plastered on his face. Always donning a black cowboy hat and a black bandanna. And a cutie mark resembling that of an apple. A brown one at that. She scowled when she found him in her way yet again.

"Why, if it ain't the lovely Pinkamena!" the proud stallion exclaimed.

_Here we go again, _she thought. "What now, Cortland?"

"Just thought Ah'd see what the Pie family's been up to since we last met," Cortland answered.

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. "You could have asked my sister when it was her turn to come to town."

"But… Ah prefer talkin' ta you."

Pinkamena glared at him for a few seconds, and then walked around him, cart and all. It didn't take long for him to start following and chattering away about himself. She tuned him out, since she had practically memorized his ramble. He competed in rodeos, he was the best apple farmer of the town (never mind that his immediate family were the only apple farmers in town), he was handsome and the best older brother to a colt and filly (he never mentioned their names). And then came the whining about how his cousin Applejack was granted great power (did he even read the whole news article?), and that his mother was trying to restrain him. And then came the part about "Apple Pie."

With a groan, she said the tired phrase, "Cortland, I'm not interested."

"Why?" he asked. "Little Apple Pie will be the cutest foal in Equestria!"

"We've been through this. I don't think a romance between us will work out. The kid would end up putting rocks in the apple stuff." She glanced at her cutie mark—a tan rock and two gray ones-as she said this. "Go find another mare; I'm sure someone around here will be interested."

"But you—"

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy some vegetables."

Cortland snorted and trotted away, grumbling under his breath about how he was going to win over that stubborn mare. He glanced at Pinkamena one last time, wondering why that little rock farmer couldn't see the gem he was.

* * *

Cheese had been following the railroad tracks all morning. With stomach rumbling and hooves hurting, he was wishing that boxcar had been empty. Those thugs gave him quite a fright, and in his panic, he had lost his food and bits to them. He prayed that they didn't get off the train in the next town.

He descended down a hill, kicking up dust that flew into his nose. The violent sneeze that resulted made him lose his balance and stumble face first to the bottom of the hill.

He laid there for a few moments, seeing stars twinkle above his head. After a few blinks and a shake of the head, he shakily stood up. He checked his glasses for any damage, and once again, they were miraculously intact, though they needed cleaning. He brushed off his poncho, took the cloth from the pocket, and wiped the lenses clean.

Once he placed the glasses on his muzzle, his face fell at the sight of a large river before him. He glanced at the railroad, which was on a bridge across the river. He looked around, hoping to find a footbridge, but there was no luck. His only option was to swim across, and the murky water did not look welcoming.

"Oh, horseapples," he muttered.

* * *

**A/N: And so, we officially start this tale! :D**

**Huh, I think Pinkamena's scenes are more planned out than Cheese's. I know what I wanted to write when it came to Pinkie; but when it came to Cheese, it just popped into my head as I write. It's kinda funny. **

**Oh, boy, did I just create another cousin for AJ? 8/**

**Anyway, thank you to those who are reading, I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and if you're not… it's not like it's the end of the world. Okay, stick around for the next chap! ^^**


	3. Dust and Dirt

With all four of his legs caked in mud, sand sticking to his wet poncho, and his mane and tail now damp and wavy, Cheese Sandwich was wishing for a bath. His stomach moaned, and a meal was added to his wish list. And under the heat of the sun, he wished that it was a little cooler. A gentle breeze would certainly be nice.

He walked beside the railroad, which was ascending up yet another hill. His legs ached from his frustrating journey, and he felt due to collapse any moment. Looking up to the top of the hill, he told himself that once he got there, he could lay down and rest in the grass; perhaps even take a nap. Seeing as he couldn't sleep the night before thanks to the riffraff he ended up in the same boxcar as, the thought of a nap sounded very nice.

Once he reached the top of the hill, he plopped down onto his belly, thankful that the grass was soft and cool. With a content sigh, he laid his head down, letting the green blades caress his chin. Though he still wished the sun wasn't so hot, the patch of grass he laid on was just perfect.

Cheese couldn't ignore the itchiness of his dirty legs, however. The mud had dried and cracked, and while most of it just stuck to his coat, the mud touching his skin was absolutely irritating. So, naturally, he began to scratch it.

He lifted his head and took a hard look at his itchy foreleg, scratching it with his other. The dry mud flaked off his leg as he did so. Cheese muttered under his breath about his experience at the river, and the amazing amount of mud that graced its bottom and hid its depth.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of some buildings. Turning his head that direction, he saw a town, just down in the valley. His eyes swept the landscape, from the apple orchard that led directly from one side of town to the strangely rock-themed train station. Beyond the station was a barren landscape under an overcast sky, occupied by a single farmhouse that looked very tiny from his perspective. He briefly wondered why anypony would live there, but then turned his attention back to the town. He could see ponies walking down its street, chatting with each other, and entering and exiting buildings.

The thrill of finally reaching a town got him to his hooves, and he broke out into a gallop.

* * *

"Thank you for the cabbages, Mr. Green," Pinkamena said, tossing a couple of the vegetables into her cart.

She dropped a couple bits into the older stallion's hat, turned, and walked away from the cabbage stand. Checking off her list, she hitched herself to the cart and began her trot back to the farm. She didn't even turn when she heard some foals screaming, a crash behind her, followed by Mr. Green shouting, "My cabbages!"

The cart she pulled was full of fruits, vegetables, and dry goods she had purchased, and she was certain that it was more than enough for her family to get by for the next few months. She kept a steady pace, taking care to leave room in the road for those coming from the direction she was headed. Only a fool waltzed down the middle of the street like royalty, especially when pulling a cart.

Dust was surrounding the hooves of everypony, who all seemed to be busy with some errand. Chickens clucked, ponies chattered, and clops of all speeds sent even more dust up. Pinkamena could hear several sneezes as she trotted. Sunny days always equaled dusty days for some reason. Her nose itched as well, and it wasn't long before she let out a sneeze of her own.

She slowed to a stop in front of one of the stores. She looked around her, making sure that no eyes were on her. She continued to glance around as she unhitched herself from the cart, and walked into the store.

Once inside, she heard jolly laughs from the couple manning the counter.

"Pinkamena!" the chubby yellow stallion exclaimed. "It's good to see you, young mare!"

"I see it's your turn to visit town, huh?" the white pegasus mare asked.

"Hello, Lemon Drop. Hello, Sugar Glider," Pinkamena greeted. "How's the foal coming along?"

Sugar Glider lifted her wings, and caressed her bulging side. Giggling, she stroked her red mane and answered, "The little one's got a strong kick. That tells me he or she is doing well."

"That's good," Pinkamena said, nodding. "Now… how do I satisfy my sweet tooth today…?" She looked at the glass jars, which were all filled with various candies. She narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the sweets in the containers, scanning every gumdrop, licorice, lollipop, candy cane, and many other kinds of candy.

It was a tough decision, given that she only visited town about once a month and that she had to hurry back to the farm. That was without considering the possibility of some crook stealing the groceries. She needed to decide quickly, and hope that her choice was a good one.

* * *

Cheese rehearsed the lines to himself as he walked into town. "Hello, my name is Cheese Sandwich. Is there any place where you need an extra set of hooves?" He gazed at his muddy hooves once again. "Perhaps someplace where I can bathe and eat? And wash my poncho… and maybe restock myself for my travels… and maybe—d'oh, Cheese, you're rambling again!"

He lifted a hoof to rub his eye, but resisted the urge when he realized that he could get dirt in his eye. He looked around at the buildings and stalls lining the dusty road. The stalls run by single ponies were selling fruits and vegetables, while signs told him that the stores sold dry goods such as flour and oats. Working in the dry goods store was worth considering.

Other buildings included the barbershop, the dentist's place, a bakery, a candy shop, and several other things. He added more possibilities to his imaginary list, while also brainstorming ideas on how to approach the owners without a nervous breakdown. He had to remind himself that he had gotten jobs before; he could do it again.

Sitting across from the candy shop, he could see a saloon, which he immediately crossed out of his imaginary list. Drunken bar fights had always terrified him, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

He looked to the candy shop again, watching a few foals run in happily. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, although his view seemed to be blocked by a cart full of a load of dry goods, fruits, and vegetables. Staring at the cart, he put a hoof on his belly and drooled. That food sure looked delicious. However, it was not his to take. Then he started to worry that somepony would steal the goods in the cart, if not the cart itself.

His worries switched to something else as he noticed some familiar faces waltzing out of the saloon. While the thought of them having used his hard-earned bits made his blood boil, the dread of those stallions being in the same town as he was overshadowed it. He stood there, frozen in place, trying to will himself to be invisible. He glanced at the cart, and thought about hiding in it.

The thugs made their way to the cart. Cheese watched as they examined it in many strange ways. They looked at it up and down. They put their ears to it to listen to… something, he didn't know. They sniffed the wood, and licked the wheels. Cheese could not help but sport an odd expression upon seeing the interesting examination.

And then he heard them start laughing, and they all faced the door of the shop cautiously, save for one, who was hitching himself to the cart. Cheese's odd expression transformed into a sharp glare. Of course they were going to steal it.

Given the amount of food that was in the cart, he imagined a farmer with a large family in the candy shop, watching as his foals picked out their treats. He imagined them walking out that door, only to discover that their cart was gone. The thought of somepony's whole family starving wrenched his heart, and it angered him to see stallions who didn't even care.

So, he yelled, in a louder voice than he thought was possible for him, "That is not your cart!"

The heads of the stallions turned toward him. The leader, the same green-maned thug he encountered on the train, stared at him for a few moments, before shouting, "Well, well, if it isn't the little Toothpick!"

Cheese's face fell upon hearing that. Before long, the ponies had abandoned the cart and were making their way toward him. He backed up as they walked forward, and much to his dismay, he tripped over a rock and landed straight onto his hindquarters. Rubbing his rump, he looked up at the thugs towering over him.

"Why, Toothpick…" the leader said. "We haven't been properly introduced. Let's try it again, shall we?"

"Meep," Cheese squeaked.

* * *

After a little thinking, Pinkamena purchased a small jawbreaker. Once she had finished exchanging a bit for the candy, she popped it into her mouth, and contentedly sucked on it. Looking at the couple before her, she said, "It's good."

"Thank you very much," Lemon Drop said. Tapping his hoof on the counter, he added,"Yanno, the whole town's talking about that handsome Apple stallion attempting to court one of the Pie sisters."

Pinkamena groaned. "I told him I'm not interested."

Sugar Glider tilted her head. "Why so, dear?"

"He comes on too strong and won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Well…" Lemon murmured. "They weren't lying about his persistence."

Sugar giggled. "Well, somepony oughta let him know that actively looking for romance with a certain mare doesn't make it happen. Maybe he'll meet another mare someday, and slowly realize what love really is as he gets to know her."

"And then I'll be happy that he's off my back," Pinkamena said.

The three of them heard shouts from outside, accompanied by boisterous neighing and laughter. They all looked to the door with questioning looks, and within seconds, the three of them were outside to see what the commotion was.

Sure enough, it was a group of greasy stallions, sitting in a circle beside her cart and pushing around some poor soul. From what Pinkamena could see, the one they were torturing had an orange coat. Sitting in the dust outside the circle was a dirty poncho and a pair of glasses. She glanced at the items, and then to the circle again, where she heard vulgar things being said and saw some of the ponies snatch some food from her cart.

With a snort, she stomped toward the circle. She approached the closest stallion, who had his back turned, and tapped him on the back. Seeing that the pony ignored him, she tapped some more. She tapped a third time before deciding to take a different approach. So, she turned around, and shot out her hind leg, feeling it collide with the stallion's back. The resulting howl of pain and the collapse that followed caught the other stallions' attention.

They watched the mare slowly turn back around to face them , with a small but firm scowl on her face. They were frozen when she gave them an icy stare, with only their eyes looking between her and the stallion she had taken down. They had dropped the dazed orange pony they had been pushing around, and could only sit transfixed as she continued to stare.

Finally, after a tense minute, Pinkamena snarled, "_Scram."_

They quickly obeyed her, picking up their comrade and leaving their victim. They hightailed it as fast as they could, looking back every so often to see that she wasn't following them.

Pinkamena watched them run like the cowards they were. "Hmph."

She bent down to take a look at the pony they had been toying with. He was smudged with dust from the road, dried mud from the river about a mile from town, and grease and spit from the thugs. Dirt was sticking to his brown mane and tail, and he sported a bit of a wall-eyed look. She poked him, and his green eyes were beginning to straighten.

"Please stop spinning, mister," he sputtered. "You'll lose your cotton candy."

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow and said, "I'm a mare."

The stallion blinked, and he shot up to a sitting position. With a red face, he stammered, "I am so, so, so sorry! I-I-I'm just—I'm just sorta kinda blind without my glasses, ma'am! I hope you're not too offended, I didn't mean to!"

"Calm down. I'm not offended," Pinkamena said flatly. She picked up the glasses and pushed them onto his face. "There, can you see better?"

He blinked a few times, and nodded. Now that his glasses were back on, he could clearly see the mare's face. Although she held a strange mix of sour and indifferent in her expression, he couldn't help but be drawn to her bright blue eyes. Of course, when he realized he was staring, he turned away, and stood up.

"…thanks for the help," he muttered, brushing his hoof on the ground.

"Those thugs were snatching vegetables from my cart," Pinkamena said, picking up the poncho.

"Oh… that's your cart? That's a lot of food."

"I'm shopping for my family."

"Makes sense…"

"You need a bath."

"I know."

"Then go home and take one."

"I… uh… don't have a home."

Pinkamena threw the poncho at his face. "That needs to be washed."

He took the poncho off his face, opened his mouth, and closed it again. Clearing his throat, he asked, "Is there… any place you know… that could use a helping hoof… Miss…"

The mare was already hitching herself to the cart. "Pie. Pinkamena Pie. And you are?"

"Uh, well, it's sorta embarrassing…"

"Spill it."

He sighed. "Cheese Sandwich."

"Hmph. Well, Mr. Sandwich, feel free to come work at the Pie family rock farm. Or don't. I don't care either way. You're not built for that kind of work, anyway. On the off chance you do come, you better be clean of those disgusting stallions you were with. Seriously, they reeked."

"I agree, Miss Pie."

Pinkamena started to walk away, towing her cart back home. As she did so, she added, "I'd also appreciate it if you'd pay for the vegetables that were stolen once you earn some bits. Obviously those slimy crooks won't do that."

"Uh, yeah… I guess…"

He stood there as he watched her leave, quite confused about the conversation they had. It made sense… yet somehow didn't. He couldn't place his hoof on why though. Although he was grateful for her intervention, her attitude was a little off-putting. And then his mind went back to her beautiful eyes.

"Oh, don't worry about Pinkamena," Sugar Glider said, walking over to Cheese's side. "She's actually very sweet once you get to know her."

"Yep," Lemon Drop said. "She's visited our shop enough for us to know that."

"Good to know," Cheese muttered.

"Now…" Sugar looked at Cheese's coat, and then glanced at her husband, who simply nodded. She smiled, took Cheese by the hoof and said, "Come on, I'll take you home so you can take a bath and wash that poncho. You can't go looking for a job smelling like that, young colt."

"Oh, I, uh… thank you." Cheese smiled back, only for his face to fall and flush red in embarrassment when his stomach rumbled. "Oh, um…"

Lemon laughed and exclaimed, "Make sure to feed him, too, Sugar!"

* * *

**A/N: Ah, nothing like another chapter to see how I'm handling this idea! Part of me thinks I'm going too fast, and another part of me thinks that going slower would be too slow. _**

**Pfft, obvious reference is obvious, am I right? Go on, go find it. XP**

**Do you suppose that if Pinkie had stayed on the rock farm, she would have ended up pretty strong? I don't know, I just think it'd be cool. **

**Look, more OCs I just made up for this story as supporting characters! ^^ I wanted to create a pegasus character named Sugar Glider because it'd be punny. Lemon Drop just came to me, and yadda yadda yadda, you get the gist. **

**Anyway, congratulations for making it this far, readers! Now, let's see how much longer you can stand my writing! XD**


	4. The Rock Farm

**A/N: Well, somebody just expressed their disappointment at the lack of eternal night and the whole Nightmare Moon thing. I've already said that in this AU, a different mare represents Laughter. This isn't one of those AUs where a slight variation in events (in this case, Pinkie going inside the house before the Rainboom happened) automatically means ETERNAL NIGHT. Okay, we clear on that? I thought I was clear before.**

**On a side note, I'm wondering how main 'verse Pinkie and Cheese would react to their AU selves in this story? Hmph, just a random thought, I'm sure we all have those.**

* * *

Once Pinkamena crossed the tracks, all the chatter of the townsfolk, the clopping of their hooves, and the squeaks of wheels from other carts went silent. She knew that the ponies were still talking; it was just that she couldn't hear them anymore. She didn't even slow down to ponder this; she didn't need to. All she could hear were the steady clops of her own four hooves and the faint squeaks she heard from the wheels.

She plodded along the dirt road that led home, spotting the first few rocks of the farm appear beside it. Those few heralded the appearance of a dozen more rocks ahead, and that dozen heralded the appearance of around fifty more rocks. The fifty led to a hundred; a hundred to a thousand. Pinkamena looked straight forward, the jawbreaker she purchased still dissolving in her mouth, having seen the army of rocks many times before. Living among rocks all her life did that to her.

She was still a little miffed that a group of smelly riffraff had been snatching food from the cart like simple popcorn. Had they not scrammed when she commanded them to, she was certain that her nasty side would have manifested. Luckily, just kicking one of them was enough to scare those sorry excuses for stallions off.

There was no doubt in her mind that they'd harass that Cheese fellow some more upon bumping into him. One look at his lanky build, need for glasses, and mellow demeanor told her that he was easy pickings. They wouldn't care if he was working or not; they'd pounce on him the moment he was alone.

It wasn't any of her business, anyway. He was just the event the gang was snacking on her cart for.

The rock farm came into view, and Pinkmena crushed her jawbreaker between her teeth. At least she had enough food for her family, who she could see rolling the rocks around. She quickened her pace to a trot, expecting her father to be at the least very annoyed that she had taken so long.

The road was getting bumpy now, and the rickety jerking from the cart was enough to prove it. She maneuvered the rock field easily, her hooves wrapped in an evasive dance as she looked forward. The shaking cart behind her bothered her little, and her only worry was whether or not the food would stay in.

Pinkamena saw her sister Limestone's head jerk up, and the gray-blue mare stared in her direction, blinking her wide eyes. She ran to her mother and tapped her on the withers, getting the older mare's attention and informing her of her pink daughter's return. Cloudy shouted at the others to inform them, and Igneous, Maud, and Marble paused their work, turning their heads in Pinkamena's direction.

Pinkamena pulled the cart until she was in front of the house. Once she had stopped, she unhitched herself, and walked to the side of the cart. Her family was now walking silently toward her, giving her the usual dull stares. She could see no trace of emotion so far, but she still expected a lecture from her father.

They stopped just short of her. Her sisters stared at her while her parents scrutinized the cart and its contents. They glanced between each of the dry goods, fruits, and vegetables, and took a deep whiff of the food. Instead of the usual satisfied snort, however, both Cloudy and Igneous pulled odd expressions, and turned to Pinkamena.

"Pinkamena…" Cloudy asked. "Do you mind telling us what that smell is?"

_Great,_ thought Pinkamena. _I carried the smell of the riffraff home. _With a sigh, she answered, "Ran into some trouble with a gang of stallions. They took some of the food before I was able to scare them off."

Igneous' eyes narrowed. "Did they try to flirt?"

Pinkamena wanted to shudder at that thought. Cortland trying to hit on her was bad enough, but at least he bathed and had a clean streak regarding the law. Besides, the gang was a little too busy picking on the gangly Cheese.

"No, I was too scary for them," she answered.

"Good," Igneous grumbled. "I don't want filth like that touching any of my daughters. Who raised those colts, anyway? I swear, if I had a son, I'd have him whipped into shape and showin' slimeballs like them what a real stallion is."

Pinkamena, Marble, and Limestone rolled their eyes, and Maud only blinked.

Igneous took notice of sand sticking to the wheels, and added, "And they better not have licked the wheels…"

"Igneous, calm down," Cloudy said, holding up a cabbage with a large bite mark in it. "I found the cabbage making that smell."

Igneous snorted, turned to Pinkamena, and said, "Young mare, what kind of negligence were you up to for some rowdy colts to steal some of our food, anyway? Did you stop to chat with the Apple stallion taking an interest in you?"

Pinkamena stood there, her dull yet sour expression unchanging. Yes, Cortland did come her way to chat, but that wasn't what distracted her. After all, she trained herself to ignore him when he began one of his bragging sessions. However, she didn't dare tell her parents about her stop at the candy shop. They might not allow her to visit it again if she did.

"Yes, Pa, he talked to me," she said simply. "It was a short conversation."

"But it was long enough for some food to get stolen!" Igneous snapped. "Had that conversation of yours gone on longer, the cart would have been emptied long before you noticed! You'd have to restock, and that would waste bits that we need to keep this farm running! Now, I do not want to hear any more about any conversations that you have with any stallion, and the next time you go to town, you do your job, and only your job! Do I make myself clear?"

Pinkamena blinked, and bobbed her head. "Yes, Pa."

"Well, then," Cloudy said, pulling a bag of flour from the cart. "Now that that discussion is over, let's get our groceries inside, and use the cart for hauling the rocks."

* * *

"Ohoho my! I never realized that you had such curly hair, Mr. Sandwich!" Sugar Glider chortled, attempting to brush her guest's mane.

"Well…" Cheese said. "Those curls just come naturally."

"Oh, I can tell." Sugar set the brush down and stood back. Cheese was completely dry from the bath he had received earlier, which had left him spot free. While his mane dried, he had taken the time to eat lunch and take a well overdue nap, and Sugar was more than happy to wash his poncho and clean his glasses while he did so. She didn't mind the break from manning the counter at the candy shop. Lemon Drop could handle the job alone, as he proved when she had first met him.

Now, she was taking a good look at the now clean, young stallion. His coat was brighter now that the dust was gone, and much of the weariness he had held had disappeared. His mane was a jungle, but the look quite suited him. And the glasses he wore were clear enough to expose the gradients in his brilliant chartreuse eyes. From what she could tell, he was presentable enough for any employer in town.

He smiled warmly at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but once he looked at his body, his face fell, and he fell back on his haunches. He covered his chest with his forelegs, and his hind legs covered below that area. His face turned beet red as he squeaked, "I feel naked."

Sugar chuckled. "I'm sorry, but your poncho is not dry yet."

"Can I wear something?"

"All the stallion clothing we have right now is a little big for you. Besides, it wasn't a big deal before. After all, not everypony wears clothes."

"I was tired earlier, Sugar Glider. I just… feel strange and wrong without my poncho… especially in front of a mare…"

"Well…" Sugar tapped her chin and left the room. When she returned, she tossed a blue rain poncho at him. She continued, "I know, I know, it's not raining today. But you only have to wear it until yours dries, which won't be too long."

Cheese blinked at her, and slipped the rain poncho on. "Thank you."

Sugar smiled warmly. "It's no problem. Come, let's talk in the living room."

Sugar trotted down the stairs, followed by Cheese. The pegasus sat on a comfortable-looking rocking chair, while Cheese sat on the couch. He watched as she fidgeted around, trying to get into a comfortable position with her bulging sides and her wings. He tried to imagine what it was like to be pregnant, and was thankful that as a stallion, he never would be.

Still, he didn't want Sugar to be uncomfortable, so he said, "Why don't you just sit on the couch?"

Sugar sighed and relented, taking her place on the other side of the couch. Once she got comfortable, her teal eyes looked up at Cheese, and she smiled at him.

"All righty then," she said. "Mr. Sandwich, what kind of job are you looking for in this town?"

Cheese shrugged. "I dunno. Anything's fine, really. Just something where I could earn enough bits to sustain me for a bit… and maybe a little extra to pay that pink mare for the vegetables that were stolen. Don't know how long it'd take, though…"

Sugar nodded. "I see."

"So… uh… are you and your husband hiring?"

Sugar frowned and shook her head. "I'm afraid not. We aren't in need of extra help, not to mention we're saving as much money as we can for our foal."

"Oh, okay. When are you due?"

"In a couple of months."

"Well… congratulations. I'll probably be staying long enough to meet the little one."

"Well, good, I like you, you're such a sweetheart."

"Oh… well…" Cheese turned red once again.

"Hehehe, okay, let's get back to business. You could walk around town and see who's hiring. Or check out one of the farms, see if some extra hooves are needed on them. Just past the produce stalls, the Apple family has an orchard of, well, apples—"

_The Apple family is everywhere, _Cheese thought. Everywhere he went, there was a branch of the Apple family. Nearly every town he visited had an apple orchard owned by them, and he always had eaten at least one apple related food product by the time he left a town. He even remembered getting into a dispute with an Apple filly in Ponyville when he was a colt.

"—and on the other side of town, across the tracks and a ways away, the Pie family owns a rock farm."

A rock farm? Wait, didn't that pink mare say she lived on a rock farm? Cheese had no idea what a rock farm was for, or how anypony could grow rocks, but he figured he'd learn soon enough. After all, you learned something new each day.

"Wait a minute!" Sugar exclaimed, making him jump. "You said you were planning to earn a little extra to repay Pinkamena concerning the vegetables she lost."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Well, won't working at the rock farm be just as good?"

Cheese stared at Sugar's manic grin. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it and turned away. Putting a hoof on his chin for thought, he supposed that working on that rock farm was something to be considered. It could be his way of paying for the lost produce and a method of saying thanks for helping him.

But would they even hire him?

* * *

Perhaps it was better off that the sky was overcast at the farm. The Pie family was outside all day, rolling rocks into piles, organized by the type of rock they were and their given hardness. The piles were loaded into the cart, where they'd be hauled either to another part of the field or the storehouse. Large boulders were either chipped away with Igneous' pickaxe, or split apart by the impressive strength of his daughters. Dust was clinging to their sweaty coats, and the familiar tightness of working muscles manifested in their legs.

Maud had reduced her boulder to mere rubble with a series of rapid blows from her front hooves. She picked one piece up, and sniffed it, humming in a dull, yet satisfied tone. She walked to the cart and tossed the fragment into it, mentioning to Limestone, who had been pulling, "This rock is satisfactory. I'll load the other pieces in."

Igneous was at work on his own boulder, steadily swinging his pickaxe against it to further the cracks that had form. Seeing his oldest daughter effortlessly make her boulder crumble sent aches from his withers and flanks to his ankles, and weariness began to lay heavy on his back. His mind flashed back to his younger days, when he could do the same thing that Maud had just done. Now, the pickaxe in his mouth did his work for him, who hadn't been able to split boulders with his hooves since his daughters were just fillies. With a sigh, he continued to swing his tool against the rock.

Cloudy hauled some of the rock piles onto the cart as Maud loaded her rocks in. Cloudy kept track of the colors of each of the piles. Maud's rocks were a gray-blue color, while Cloudy loaded in rocks of gray, brown, and dull green.

Pinkamena and Marble dug around a half-buried boulder. Their hooves scraped up the dirt around it quickly, and could feel the ground gradually loosen its grip on the rock. The large stone wiggled slightly, almost as if it had been tickled by the two sisters. The wiggling gave way to a greater shuddering as the sisters dug deeper, and was soon loose enough for it to be lifted out of the newly dug hole.

"Okay, Marble, on three."

"Okay."

"One… two… THREE!"

Igneous, Cloudy, Maud, and Limestone watched as a spherical rock was launched out of the hole, landing just outside it with a great thud and then rolling a few feet away. A few moments of silence passed before a great shriek came from the hole, and Marble shot out of the hole, her mane standing on end and her tail bristled like an abused paintbrush. She landed on her hindquarters, a wild look in her violet eyes.

The other four rushed by her side, making inquiries of what happened and if she was all right. Marble only stammered gibberish and began to chew at her tail.

Pinkamena's deadpan voice came from the hole. "Don't worry, Marble. It's only dead."

Igneous' head shot up, and he hollered, "Pinkamena! What spooked Marble?"

"Just a bunch of bones."

Igneous blinked. "What kind?"

"They look like pony bones to me. Did a murder happen here or something?"

Igneous looked in the hole, and grimaced. "Land sakes… Pinkamena, climb out of there!"

Pinkamena did as she was told. Once she had climbed out, she took a brief glance back in it, and then set her blue eyes back on her father. She raised an eyebrow, wondering what the big deal about the bones was.

Maud took a step forward, peeked into the hole, and muttered in a dull voice, "That's disturbing."

"Well, I'm not looking!" Cloudy declared. "Let's take a break and drink some water. We'll give Marble time to recover, and then we take care of those bones."

Igneous bobbed his head in response. A water break would be nice.

* * *

Pinkamena had her muzzle in the trough, taking in water with deep gulps. When it came to the Pie family, they were a really thirsty bunch when they had a busy day. They didn't settle for drinks in simple glasses; they had to have a large container of water ready for them when it was time for a break. Igneous had built a large trough for his family, which they were free to drink out of when thirsty. None of them cared if their neighbors in town thought it was weird; they didn't understand how refreshing it was.

Igneous and Pinkamena had the same habit of sticking their muzzles into the water and guzzling, surrounded by their family members, who were taking gentler sips. The other four would finish and wait for the two to stop their gulping and come up for air.

Igneous did so first, but his sudden movement of rising his head brought on an audible _crack _and he was brought down to his front knees, exclaiming in a strained voice, "Oh, my back!"

Cloudy looked at her husband and sighed, "Not again."

Pinkamena's head rose from the trough, her chin dripping, and she stared with her half-lidded eyes and raised eyebrow. She watched as her mother performed a strange motion with her hooves that resulted in another _crack_ and a relieved sigh from her father.

However, from the corner of her eye, she spotted something orange.

She tilted her head to get a better look, resulting in some of her hair dipping into the water. As it turned out, the orange thing she saw was that skinny stallion from before. He and his poncho were clean, the glasses were so clear she could see the color of his eyes from her spot, and his mane and tail had dried into two messes of dark brown curls, the most prominent of the curls being a single forelock just above his forehead.

_It's too early for him to pay for those vegetables, _she thought. _He shouldn't have earned enough in one day! _ And then her eyes widened in realization. _Unless…_

"Uh-um, excuse me?" the stallion called.

Igneous rose his head up and gave the stranger his best stone-faced stare. Cloudy, Marble, and Limestone looked at him curiously. Maud simply stared with her usual inexpressive face. And Pinkamena held a little frown and narrowed her eyes at him.

The orange pony cleared his throat, and asked, "Are you willing to hire an extra pony to work on your farm?"


	5. Interview

Having taken the colt inside the house, Igneous was concealing his surprise of somebody just waltzing onto the farm and asking for a job. Not many ponies came out here that often; after all, who would want to work on a rock farm? Only the desperate would crawl all the way out here begging to be employed. He could still remember the last pony who did that, and the complaining she did that had caused him such a migraine. He did not care one whit for her ruined reputation; he and his family just wanted her to work.

Igneous scanned the other stallion's build. He could see that hardly any muscle was built on the legs; it was just enough that the fellow was still standing and could walk. He took a quick look at the Cutie Mark, and the hoofprints adorning that flank told him that this was most likely a drifter. It was peculiar to see one with glasses, though he couldn't blame him for having poor eyesight.

Igneous led the visitor into the kitchen and sat down at the table. With a stony gaze, he ordered, "Sit."

When the other had done so, Igneous asked, "All right. What's your name?"

"…it… it's Cheese Sandwich."

Igneous raised an eyebrow. "That's a strange name."

"…I know."

"Hm. Well, let's get this over with. Why are you asking to be hired?"

"Well…" Cheese forced himself to look Igneous in the eyes. He tapped the table with his hoof as he thought, sweat starting to form on his forehead. He took a deep breath, and answered, "It was a recommendation."

"Really? From who?"

"The… candy shop owners?"

"Candy shop owners? I hardly know 'em."

"Oh… it's just… that… well, they weren't hiring…"

"Huh. And I assume everypony else in Nickerlite had no need for any extra hooves, correct?"

"Uh, yes."

"Hmph. This place is always the last resort for employment," Igneous muttered, mostly to himself. He took a deep breath and continued, "Are you absolutely sure you want to work here?"

Cheese pulled at his poncho's neck hole and asked, "Well… what do you require?"

"Well, preferably a pony with ample strength and who doesn't mind getting dirty, considering the nature of this job. But, honestly, I hire ponies who are desperate. As a drifter, as that Cutie Mark of yours implies, the dirt shouldn't be a problem. I am concerned about those bones with sleeves you stand on, though. Have you ever done any heavy lifting?"

Cheese shook his head.

"No? Hm, then tell me what job experience you have."

"Oh, boy… okay, just give me a sec…" Cheese leaned back and tapped his chin. Igneous stared at him as the younger stallion racked his brains for the needed information. The kitchen was quiet, save for Cheese's mild humming.

Cheese looked at Igneous again and answered, "Okay, I've worked as a delivery boy, at some orchards, at a bakery, at some restaurants, at a post office, and a music store…" Cheese smiled fondly upon saying that last one. "Yeah, I've had a lot of jobs…"

"Hm, some restaurants? So, you can cook?"

"Well, I've cooked myself beans for years… but don't let me bake! I might poison your family!" Cheese's pupils shrunk to pinpoints, and he covered his mouth.

"Well, I won't, thanks to your little 'poison' comment," Igneous said. "I'm going to guess that your time at that bakery was brief."

Cheese covered his eyes, and mumbled, "Sorry, sorry, sorry…"

"Quit apologizing. I've had my daughters working since they were fillies, and I've hired pegasi and unicorns in the past, so you might have a chance."

Cheese raised his head and asked, "Well, how? You said so yourself, my legs are bones with sleeves! I can't lift or break a boulder!"

"I don't expect you to do those things. I'd start you off small, like moving the smaller rocks to another field, and sorting them through whether they'd have any valuable minerals, or just be good for the souvenir shop. And maybe I'd teach you how to use a pickaxe."

"Well, yeah, I can do that, I guess. I have sorted mail…" Cheese mumbled. He shot an odd look at Igneous and asked, "What's the catch?"

Igneous got out of his chair and walked to the window. Drawing the curtains open, he pointed outside and asked, "What do you see out there?"

Cheese got out of his chair and looked out. Blinking, he answered, "Rocks… rocks… rocks… your family moving those rocks… that pink one loading something from that hole into the cart…"

Igneous held a stony expression as Cheese answered. He listened for anything in Cheese's voice that sounded remotely suggestive, and watched his gaze to see where his eyes were. So far, there seemed to be nothing that he could pick up.

Once Cheese had finished talking, Igneous said, "So… you're here to earn money, right?"

Cheese looked at him quizzically and answered, "Right?"

"And not because somepony told you about the Pie mares?"

"I, uh, huh-da-wha?" Cheese glanced back and forth, blush appearing on his cheeks. "Uh, Mister, are you saying—"

"I don't hire stallions very often, and I'm pretty sure you can guess why. I'm only thinking of hiring you because I pity you and want to put some kind of muscle in those sticks you call legs. However, most travelers I've met have bragged about all the lovers they've had, keeping some kind of score on how many hearts they've broken. I don't want any of my daughters to fall prey to those wolves."

Cheese's face was completely red at that point. "Sir, I don't think I'm all that attractive…"

"Don't give me any manure about how you are 'not that kind of stallion'! If anything, that phrase is suspicious." Igneous took a sharp breath through his nose and said, "You asked what the catch is. The catch is that you don't oogle any of my daughters, nor do you try to woo them. I'm already having problems with one stallion in town having eyes for one of them… I _don't _need another. Under those terms will I hire you. Understand?"

Cheese was down on his haunches, cowering under the older pony. He could only nod in response.

"Good. You'll be their temporary brother." Igneous walked around Cheese and into the living room.

Cheese sat there, blinking in astonishment. "Uh, are you saying I'm hired?"

"Like I said, I pity you."

"Um, yay?"

"Stand up. I'm getting my wife so we can discuss your pay and living arrangements."

Cheese scrambled to his hooves and followed him. He was pointed to the couch, with the implication that he should wait there. So, he sat there, alone, for however long it would take for Igneous to return.

* * *

Pinkamena had gotten the last of the bones into the cart when she noticed her father walk out of the house. She leaned against the cart, watching as he fetched her mother, and they went back into the house. She groaned, the implications sinking in.

Maud was in the middle of sweeping some rocks into a pile with her tail when she heard the groan. Looking up with her usual dull stare, she asked, "What is it?"

"I think Pa pitied that colt."

"So?"

"So he's going to be working with us. Pa wouldn't grab Ma if he didn't hire that walking stick. Ugh, it's going to be Trixie all over again, isn't it? Or worse, since this is a stallion we're talking about."

Maud blinked, and said, "Don't make such a big deal about it."

Pinkamena sighed. "You know Pa rarely hires stallions."

"I know."

"Well, considering Cortland breathes down my neck every time I visit town, I can see his reasoning."

"Don't worry. I'm sure Pa scared our new employee."

"Well, I'll make sure to scare him even more if he tries anything funny."

Maud stared for a moment before muttering, "Okay."

Pinkamena looked at the bones in the cart. "I still wonder if a murder happened here."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, it's a short one, and frankly, not one of my best. ^^;**

**So, somebody suggested that I come up with a name for the town, and that it should be something rock or mineral related. I kinda wanted to combine it with a horse term as well. So, after some thinking and some research, I came up with the name Nickerlite, which combines **_**niccolite **_**and **_**nicker. **_**So, there you have it. **

**Also, I think Igneous hired Trixie out of some level of pity. :/**


	6. Night of Settlin', Day of Work

The room was small and simple. There was a bed in the corner, with an old quilt laid over it, and a nightstand within hoof's reach of it, where an oil lamp stood. A small dresser stood against the wall opposite of the bed, a few books resting on top of it. The wooden planks making up the floor were smooth, and a single window graced the wall beside the bed. He could see the nearby forest from that window, which lay beyond several yards of gray and brown dust.

Cheese set his glasses case on the nightstand, sat on the bed, and idly glanced at each of the bare walls. Cloudy Quartz was standing at the door, giving him a minute to take in his surroundings. It wasn't much, but the Pie family at least made an effort to make it comfortable for guests.

Cheese took a deep whiff of the room. "It smells like woodchips in here."

"The room's made of wood," Cloudy said. "Did you expect it to smell like daisies?"

"Well, no, I just—sorry, but I really… um, I like that smell," Cheese stammered. "Uh, yeah, I like the smell of wood…"

"Good. You're sleeping in here."

"Yeah, I kinda got that idea when you brought me in here." Cheese glanced at the bed, and stroked the quilt he was sitting on. "This is a lovely quilt."

Cloudy tilted her head, surprised by the sudden comment. "My mother made it."

"Well, she's talented. It's beautiful and looks really comfortable."

Cloudy blinked, unsure of what to make of Cheese's compliment. Clearing her throat, she said, "Well… I'm sure she would've been flattered to hear that."

Cheese looked up and smiled warmly. As tempting as it was to respond to the smile, Cloudy couldn't let herself get sidetracked, and so kept a straight face as she said, "Get yourself settled in, Mr. Sandwich. I'm getting supper ready."

With that, she turned and walked out. Cheese stared out of the door for a few moments, and then turned his attention back to the quilt. The edges were lined with a tan fabric, and patches of muted blue, violet, pink, and white were sewn in an intricate flower pattern, providing color to a silvery background.

It had been a while since he had slept in a bed, and he was happy that he was to sleep on one under such a nice quilt.

* * *

Supper had been quiet. Quieter than he expected.

Nobody in the family seemed interested in the stories he could tell.

Usually he was given a barrage of questions about his travels and what kind of adventures he had. Usually they'd be asking how long he'd been doing this, and why he was so awkward compared to travelers in stories. And usually he was overwhelmed with the assumptions his employers and co-workers had of him, due to traveling around a lot. They always assumed that he had committed murder, or that he had wooed mares all over Equestria, though Cheese knew he couldn't kill someone or get romantically involved even if he tried. Igneous had made the latter assumption about him earlier, but it won't take long for him to see that none of his daughters would find Cheese attractive in any way.

Still, the lack of conversation unnerved him slightly. The family had simply sat at the table and ate their hay rolls and rock cakes, not speaking a word. Not even Pinkamena, who at least had an interesting event happen that day. Then again, she could have told her family about it earlier.

Then there was the fact that every time Pinkamena had looked at him, it was a glare. It bothered him greatly. Cheese had no idea what he did to warrant those glares, and it was hard to ignore those pretty eyes of hers.

Maud had ignored him the whole time, while Marble and Limestone had been curious about the new face at the table. They seemed like they wanted to ask questions, but they held their tongues. They just ate like the rest of the family.

Cheese himself had opted to break the silence, but he realized that it would have been awkward. He didn't know where to start for one thing. Another thing was that he felt it would be rude. He was also partially afraid that Pinkamena would have some sort of snide comment to whatever he said. So, he too held his tongue.

Night had fallen, and he lucked out on starting out on work right after being hired. Cheese expected to start the next morning, and he was already dreading the work ahead. He was hoping that his time on the rock farm would be worth the bits he needed.

In his room, he was laying on the floor, under the light of the lamp, flipping through the few books that had been on the dresser. Having discovered that they were all about rocks and minerals, he figured a little rock research would be a bit of help in rock farming. So far, he had discovered the use of rock farming: the harvesting of gems and ores that would be used for businesses, as well as collecting rocks for researchers, for construction, or to be sold as souvenirs. He had also discovered that rock farms are usually located in rock fields where magical energy was strong and seeping into the stones. It was strangely fascinating.

"Why are you stalking me?"

Cheese jerked his head up, finding Pinkamena standing in the doorway. Leaning against the door frame, she stared at him with her dry scowl, flicking her mane out of her face. He was drawn to her eyes again, pondering how their azure irises, which would fit perfectly with an innocent, curious soul, were part of such a stern mare.

"Well?" Pinkamena said.

Realizing that he stared again, he stood up and answered, "I, uh, didn't mean to imply that…"

"You implied it, all right."

"Ehehe… sorry…" Cheese rubbed his hooves and looked away. "Consider this my payment for those veggies you lost… and well, a little extension of my gratitude for driving those greasy thugs away from me…"

"Glad I didn't insult your stallion pride," Pinkamena deadpanned.

"What stallion pride?" Cheese retorted, laying back onto the floor and resuming his reading.

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. Here before her laid the most pathetic pony she had ever met. No wonder her father pitied him.

Cheese sighed. "Look, Pinkamena, I'm sorry if I'm rubbing you the wrong way. I promised your father that I'm not up to any shenanigans involving you or your sisters… if you know what I mean."

"We wouldn't let you do anything like that."

"Something tells me you'll crush me if I even tried."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't worry. I'm just your temporary brother."

"Yeah… sure…"

Cheese groaned. He rubbed his eye and yawned, and then asked, "Say, didn't you say earlier that you didn't care whether or not I worked here? You seem to care an awful lot."

"I didn't think I'd see you again," Pinkamena answered. "Turns out I did. At least you bathed." She watched as Cheese's eye rubbing made his glasses slip off and fall on the book. "Shut the book and get into bed. We wake up early."

Pinkamena turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind her. Cheese put his glasses back on, and finished the page he was on before closing the book. He was in bed before long.

* * *

After he was given a rude awakening and eating a bland breakfast, Cheese Sandwich was not a happy pony. Pinkamena had warned him that the family woke up early, but that didn't really change anything. He figured it was going to be a long day.

He was sorting the rocks with Cloudy Quartz, while Igneous and the girls collected them from around the field. The piles were sorted by what their uses would be and if they were ready. A pile off to the side indicated that the rocks were not ready for harvesting, while a few other piles were for those that were. There were the rocks that contained ore to be extracted, the rocks that contained gems and had to be cracked open, the rocks for the souvenir shop, rocks for gravel, and rocks for building materials.

Cloudy sorted them with relative ease. Cheese, however, thought all the rocks looked the same. He couldn't tell which ones were "ripe", and which ones had to be taken back to the fields. He tried smelling the so-called ripeness, like Cloudy was doing, but he could not detect any smell from the rocks. Taking careful bites on the rocks didn't do anything for him either, except receive a scolding from Cloudy. Tapping the rock and trying to hear whatever he needed to hear was a moot point.

Cheese had been trying to sort his rock for an hour, trying everything he could, including a brief round of hacky sack with the small stone. The repeated bouncing of the rock with his hind leg earned an odd look from the matriarch of the Pie family.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Cheese stopped his little game, dropping the rock. "Um… hacky sack?"

"Hacky-what?"

"Hacky sack. Where you take a little soft ball and keep it off the ground by repeatedly kicking it?"

Cloudy shook her head slowly, raising an eyebrow at this strange game. "It looks like tomfoolery to me. Don't do that with your rock, you'll hurt yourself. Sit back down and help me sort the rest."

Cheese sighed, picked his rock back up, and sat near the piles. He glared at the little stone, tempted to throw it out of sight and continue with the sorting. Of course, he'll run into the same problem with the next rock.

"Cloudy…" he pleaded. "Help!"

Cloudy glanced at him, and said, "That rock's going back to the field. It's not ready for anything, so we can't tell what its use is."

Cheese froze when he heard that, his eye twitching. He had wasted an hour, trying to solve the mystery of his rock, just to be told that it wasn't "ripe." His cheeks inflated, suppressing the scream that was raging within and trying to claw its way out of his mouth. His face was becoming redder and redder by the second.

"Oh, for the love of… BREATHE!" Cloudy said.

Out came the most embarrassing sound he had ever made. Neither he nor Cloudy could properly describe it, only that it was very strange, drawn out and loud. It was a sound no pony should ever naturally make, and it could not ever be duplicated. Time seemed to stand still as the sound came out of Cheese's mouth, and Cloudy had no idea what to make of it.

By the end of the strange loud sound, Cheese's face was red for a completely different reason. He bashfully looked at the stunned Cloudy and grinned sheepishly.

"I'm terribly sorry about that…" he squeaked.

Cloudy's stunned face fell into a dull stare. "Perhaps just collecting the rocks with Igneous would be better."

* * *

"So, that weird noise… it was you?" Marble drawled.

Cheese's face was still red from what had transpired between him and Cloudy. He was just glad to have swapped places with Pinkamena to avoid another hour of frustration caused by a rock. He had been told that with time, he might be able to tell what the rocks should each be used for, but Cheese had his doubts.

"Remind me never to make him angry," Limestone muttered.

"Ugh… you better not make that noise again, you colt," Igneous grumbled.

Cheese looked away and mumbled, "I most likely can't do it again."

Igneous was pulling the cart while his daughters and Cheese were picking up rocks and throwing them in. Marble and Limestone were expressing a significant amount of disbelief that a pony could make such a strange noise, Igenous was annoyed, and Maud didn't seem to care. She just did her job, though she stared at each rock she picked up and brushed dirt off of them before putting them in the cart.

Cheese smelled each rock, trying to detect some sort of difference between them. He had no luck so far, and continued following the Pies as they gathered each rock that was found in the field. From the smallest pebble to rocks nearly the size of a pony's head, they were gathering rocks left and right.

Then they came across a boulder, which towered over them and cast a great shadow for a good distance. The five stared at it for a grand total of five seconds before Maud said, "I got it."

She stepped forward, and scanned the rock top to bottom and left to right. She circled it once, in her slow and steady pace. Her father and sisters were patient, watching her study the rock. Cheese was bemused at what Maud was doing, and could only scratch his head as she made an orbit around the boulder.

Maud completed her circle, and with one swift movement, punched the rock with a loud _pow _sound. She stepped back, and the cracks from the punch spread all over the boulder. The others backed up as well, sensing danger should they stay too close.

The cracks had spread inward, and soon the boulder began to crumble. Pebbles fell from the top and the bottom, and rolled down the hill of rubble that was forming. The loud rumbling of the dismantling rock was great, but only Cheese reacted to it. The mini-avalanche spread some pebbles near the hooves of the ponies, stopping short of hitting them. And then, as surely as it began, the little rockslide had stopped, and the boulder was no more. The Pies remained stoic, while Cheese gaped at the sight, his jaw having dropped.

He turned to Maud. "H-how… how did—how did you do that?!"

Maud blinked and answered, "I punched it."

Cheese looked at the stocky legs of the Pies, and then at his own lanky legs. They started aching at the thought of him punching a rock, and failing to even make a mark on what he punched. Given that they've been doing this for years, it shouldn't be a surprise that they were so strong. That still didn't keep him from being so shocked to see said strength in action.

He shuddered at the thought of what Pinkamena could have done to that stallion gang, but chose not to. All she had done was kick one of them, and that scared them off. There was no need to go further.

"Cheese, stop daydreaming," Igneous growled. "We still have work to do."

Cheese shook his head, and murmured, "R-right."

As he walked with the others, the conversation he had with Pinkamena the night before came to mind. He could remember a single thing that Pinkamena had said.

"_Glad I didn't insult your stallion pride." _

With a sigh, he mumbled, "What stallion pride?"

* * *

**A/N: First day on the job and Cheesy's already feeling down. Somepony give him a hug. **

**Now, to try to sort out the misadventures these guys have... I've got a few scenarios in my head, just need to figure out what to use first. XP**


	7. Thoughtful Rest

After a long day involving rock hauling, rock sorting, and rock smashing, the Pie family and Cheese went in for supper. It was once again awkwardly silent, and everybody just ate their meal before moving on to the living room.

Even then, everypony just picked up a book and began to read. The only exception was Maud, who took some paper and a pencil, lay down on the floor, and began to write something. As curious as he was about what she was writing, Cheese decided it was best to leave her be.

He wasn't really interested in the book he was reading. He didn't even understand what was going on. He couldn't tell why Honeybee Rose was whining over why Blazing Silver wouldn't pay attention to her, or why Cremello was putting up with her whining. Who were these characters? The magnitude of whining on the first page made him cringe, and he quickly shut the book—apparently titled "The Rose of Blood Bay"—and switched it with a different book. His new book turned out to be a dictionary.

He opened it up, figuring that he'd learn a few new words. Of course, the words he found were those he already knew, or those that he'd never use in his vocabulary. It wasn't long before he shut the book and headed for the door.

Cloudy looked up from her book. "Where are you going?"

As Cheese opened the door, he answered, "Just going out for some fresh air."

Limestone looked up from her book as well and said, "We've been outside all day."

"Yeah, you got plenty of fresh air," Marble added.

Cheese glanced at the mares who spoke and said, "I just want to feel the evening air and watch the sunset."

He shut the door behind him, and took a deep breath. The air felt fresher in the evening than in the daytime, and it was cool to the skin under his coat. Stepping out into the dusty yard, he could only hear his soft footsteps in the dirt. Though both inside and outside were silent, the yard's silence was a tranquil one, inviting a soul to enjoy the lovely evening.

He stopped at the fence and leaned against it, gazing at the orange and pink light that made up the sunset. The warm colors merged with the navy blue sky above him, which had the first glimmer of stars appearing.

"If I ever get the chance, I'll have to thank Princess Luna for such a beautiful night," Cheese mumbled.

His gaze fell to the rock field, and his smile faded. His forelegs ached just looking at those rocks, and he thought of the boulder that Maud had shattered. She had made it look so simple, and that single punch would put many well-built stallions to shame.

And then there was Cheese Sandwich. Ungraciously given the nickname of Toothpick by a group of thugs, told he was not built for rock farming by Pinkamena, and only having been hired out of pity, the stallion was feeling down. If he could just trade his life for another, he'd do so in a heartbeat. A special talent that was not wandering Equestria and working odd jobs here and there would be nice.

But those hoofprints on his flank were permanent.

He heard a lonely wolf howl in the distance. A soft breeze caressed his cheek, and he continued to stare at the rocks. Those dull and lifeless rocks, which looked black in the dim landscape.

He wondered what it was like to have the strength that the Pie family possessed, and tried to imagine his body with muscles. However, the mental image of beefed-up Cheese Sandwich looked downright ridiculous, with muscles that were big and solid to unrealistic proportions, a thick neck, and a completely dopey look on his face.

He cringed at the thought. Why couldn't he imagine a less exaggerated muscled version of himself?

A yawn came out of his mouth, and he decided to return to the house.

* * *

Pinkamena flipped through the pages of the encyclopedia, only stopping when she found a picture of someplace new. She couldn't help but gaze at the places beyond the rock farm and Nickerlite, reminding her of how big the world was. Photos of Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Canterlot, and countless other cities had her fascination, and she wondered what it was like to live in one of those cities.

She was staring at a picture of Cloudsdale, the city in the sky. She proceeded to read about the pegasi-dominated city, and found herself fascinated by the weather factory among other things. She even liked the idea of ponies who could sit on clouds.

As she read, she imagined herself with wings, soaring above Equestria and taking in the amazing view. She imagined what Cloudsdale must be like, how the weather was made, and what clouds felt like. Her mind switching to other places, she determined that if she was a pegasus, she'd fly to every corner of the world.

The door opened, and Pinkamena peeked over her book, watching Cheese Sandwich walk in.

"I thought you ditched us," she said dryly.

Cheese closed the door and answered, "Uh, no." He glanced around before asking, "Did the others go to bed?"

Pinkamena hadn't even noticed that the rest of her family had left the room. She shrugged and said, "Most likely."

"Oh, okay. Whatcha reading?"

"Encyclopedia. Why?"

"Just curious, that's all." Cheese walked past her and toward the stairs. Pinkamena was glad that he didn't press the matter further, because she really didn't want to go into why she was reading about Cloudsdale.

As Cheese made his way up the stairs, he said, "I'm going to hit the hay. Good night."

Pinkamena didn't reply, and went back into both her book and her fantasy.

* * *

When Cheese walked into his room, he was surprised to find Marble and Limestone in there. They were lying on the floor, reading the rock books. He stood there, staring at the two girls awkwardly, his mind drawing a blank as to any reason they'd be in here.

"Um… excuse me?" he asked.

Both of them looked up, with Marble tilting her head and Limestone rapidly blinking. Now that he had their attention, he continued, "What are you doing in here?"

The two mares glanced at each other, and Marble answered, "Reading."

Cheese raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you doing that downstairs?"

Limestone rolled her eyes. "We were also waiting for you."

Cheese blinked and put a hoof on his chest. "Me? Uh, why?"

"We've been wanting to ask some questions."

"Oh, uh, what kind of questions?"

Both girls sat up onto their haunches. "You've travelled a lot," Marble said. "So, we thought you'd have some stories to tell."

Cheese walked past them and sat on his bed. "Yeah, I do have a few. Did you come here to hear one?"

Both of them nodded. Seeing the curiosity that gleamed in their eyes, he smiled. It couldn't hurt just to tell them about the crazy adventures he had. After all, there were plenty that were gems in his eyes, and he couldn't help but chuckle at them. He'll have to start out with just one tonight.

"All right, little fillies," he said. "Let me tell you about my first job…"

* * *

Pinkamena shoved the encyclopedia back onto the shelf, and suppressed a yawn. She muttered under her breath as she went around the room, making everything ready for the night. All lights in the living room were quickly turned off, and the doors were locked. She made one final sweep of the dark room before making her way up the stairs.

She reached the top of the stairs, and that's when she heard Cheese's voice in a wistful monologue. Having heard him say earlier that he was going to bed, she wondered what he was doing up, and why he was talking. She headed to the door, ready to kick it open and scold him, but then she heard one of her sisters ask a question, and another interject with a comment of her own.

"They really used those burnt muffins as charcoal?"

"Wow, they must have been bad."

That answered the question of why Cheese was up, but brought up another: Why were Marble and Limestone in there?

"Yeah… I learned that day that baking was not my special talent. They made me serve for the rest of my time there, and well… sometimes I found the patrons kind of scary. I nearly had a heart attack when some of the big stallions in town all marched in at the same time! Nearly half of them were in a bad mood, and there I was, a little colt, frozen in place and expecting to get squashed like a bug."

_You still could get squashed like a bug, _Pinkamena thought, shaking her head. How did that stallion manage to survive on his own for such a long time?

"And as I feared, they got into a fight, with curses spewing out of their mouths and punches and kicks flaying like mad. I was panicking like mad, and without thinking, I threw the cake I was carrying at them. They turned to me, ready to kill me, but they softened when they realized I was just a scared colt. They quickly excused themselves after that… and if I recall correctly, they were banned from the bakery."

There was a pause, and Pinkamena could hear Cheese draw another breath.

"Well, I left after a few months because… because it didn't feel right for me. My employers were very understanding, and they wished me luck in finding out who I am. So, I travelled all Equestria, searching for my purpose in life…"

A few more moments of silence, and Cheese yawned. "Okay, girls, I've got to get to sleep. You know, long work day tomorrow."

"Yeah," both Limestone and Marble muttered.

Pinkamena heard their hoofsteps heading for the door, and she quickly headed to the room she shared with them and Maud. She jumped into her bed and slid under the covers, glancing at the door. Not long after, the two mares walked into the room, muttered "G'night" to each other, and headed for their beds. Neither of them noticed that Pinkamena was awake.

She lay flat on her back and stared at the ceiling. Hearing part of Cheese's story piqued her curiosity, and part of her wanted to ask him what the places he travelled to were like. Asking him about Cloudsdale was out of the question, but maybe asking him about a place like Manehattan could elicit an answer.

She groaned. Why did she even care? Why would she even bother asking a pony who couldn't even put up a decent fight? Why should she pry into his life when he wasn't worth the attention?

Of course, this pony had been travelling since he was a little colt. He had to be doing something right for him to even make it to adulthood on his own. Besides, Limestone and Marble were genuinely curious about whatever adventures he had, and at least he was pleasant about his answers.

Not to mention his voice was better-sounding than Trixie's was during her stay. _Much_ better-sounding, for it was a cool and deep voice when he wasn't a nervous wreck. Pinkamena certainly wouldn't mind hearing that voice some more, especially at a time where he was comfortable and could talk smoothly.

Her eyelids grew heavy, and she closed them for the night.

* * *

Usually when he was telling a story, the ponies he stayed with had warm smiles on their faces. Those smiles usually made him comfortable and lessened his tension. As long as there was no silent judging that he could sense, he'd be all right. He could tell his story smoothly, though not without a few stutters. Perhaps that was why it was starting to bother Cheese that neither Marble nor Limestone had smiled during his story.

Then again, nobody on this farm had smiled at all during his stay.

Still, he could tell that the two mares were interested in what stories he had to tell. They had commentary, they listened to him, and he could see the interest in their eyes. He had noticed it from them the day before, and he suspected that they would return for another story the next day.

Still, no smiling? That was peculiar.

He lay on his bed, in the dark, staring toward the ceiling, though all he could see was a dark blue blur. With a yawn, he thought that perhaps he was thinking too much into it. Considering that they worked with rocks, he couldn't blame them for being so grumpy. And as far he could tell, the family seemed content.

For now, he was just glad to be in bed. But he was dreading the days to come.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I have to give Weird Al props for the vocal range that was present in Cheese. We have his serious, gruff voice going with the cowboy persona; his higher, happy voice for the Super Duper Party Pony; and the more smooth kind of voice that's kinda in between the previous two. The guy's got talent, I won't deny that. **

**Sorry for the lack of a funny misadventure in this one. XP **


	8. Trespassers

The next couple of weeks were a couple of the longest of Cheese's life. Rocks were being moved, crushed, and sorted all day, every day. The "unripe" rocks both had to be hauled from one field to the next, and rolled out into even rows. Either Igneous or one of his daughters would do the hauling, while the rest rolled the rocks into their spaces. The small rocks were rolled along with their muzzles, until a nice spot was found so that the rock could ripen.

Cheese's neck often ached from bending down and rolling the rocks, and his legs hurt from lifting some of the larger ones into the cart. Each day found him soaked in sweat, covered in dust, and really thirsty. Every chance he had, he dunked his head into the watering trough, guzzling the water, to the point of attempting to breathe in it. He always shot right back up, coughing up a storm. Quite a few times, he forgot to take off his glasses before his drink, so he'd have to fish them out of the trough.

The Pies' noses told them that a lot of gems were growing in the rocks this season. Cheese still didn't quite understand the smells of each rock (if anything, they all smelled the same to him), so he took their word for it. Of course, he noticed that they seemed a bit more wary of… something, he didn't know what.

Though he ached when the day was done and dinner was still too quiet, he was happy when Marble and Limestone came in just before bed, ready to listen to a story. Cheese had many stories to share, and though neither girl smiled, he could tell that they were fascinated by his adventures. They gasped at the story of how the Santa Hooves in Canterlot tried to kill him, wrinkled their noses upon hearing of the time he was pelted with jellyfish, and were wide-eyed when he told of his encounter with vampire fruit bats.

What he didn't know was that Pinkamena was just as interested in the stories. She was just unwilling to let anypony know that, so she simply eavesdropped from behind the door, slipping away when somepony—inside or outside the room—was coming.

That was the routine, aside from housework, cooking, and collecting firewood. Cheese figured that each day would be this tedious, with the only exception being his tales told to two of the Pie sisters.

This morning, however, heralded something a little different, as he was startled awake by loud, colorful language coming from Igneous Rock outside. The scene consisted of the skinny stallion stumbling out of bed, getting his hind leg tangled in the quilt, and hitting his head on the floor. Stars twinkled around his head as the world spun, and Igneous' curses were garbled in his ears, mixing with rapid hoofsteps outside his door.

His door was kicked open by Pinkamena. She found her grandmother's quilt wrapped around the leg of a dazed Cheese Sandwich, blinking his eyes one at a time and laying down like a dog wanting a belly rub. She stepped closer, sighing in exasperation, as she had to untangle him.

As she freed his leg, Cheese sputtered, "Squid hat is going to the hardware store…"

"No, you're not," Pinkamena replied.

"But I don't know what I'm singing!"

* * *

Igneous was storming out of the barn when the others had come outside. His loud curses had decreased in volume to just under his breath, but the way he chomped at his strand of wheat indicated that he hadn't completely cooled down. Cloudy and the girls kept their distance, and Cheese was wise to take the unspoken advice.

Igneous looked up at them with a furrowed brow and tight lips. Nopony flinched, although Cheese had glanced in a different direction to avoid his gaze. All braced themselves for whatever Igneous had to say.

"Somepony…" Igneous growled, flaring his nostrils. "…broke into the barn, stole our rocks, popped the wheels off our cart, and snapped every tool we have into pieces!"

Only Maud remained passive as the others were wide-eyed. They took a brief glance at the door, where a broken lock was hanging. Igneous pointed inside the barn, saying with gritted teeth, "Take a look if you don't believe me."

The group went in, and sure enough, all that was in there was a pile of broken tools and the de-wheeled cart. The pickaxes, the hammers, the chisels, as well as many others, were reduced to scrap metal and splinters, and bent nails and screws littered the ground around them.

"Oh, my…" Cloudy whispered.

Igneous snorted, and ordered, "Maud, Pinkamena, get your bags. We're going to town to replace these tools. The rest of you watch the farm while we're gone." Igneous looked at Cheese and said, "Your payment's going to have to wait. We need the money to replace what's been damaged."

Cheese nodded. "I understand."

As the others made their way back to the house, Cheese stared at the pile, wondering who in Equestria would break into a barn just to vandalize property and steal a bunch of rocks. It wasn't as if the Pie family had any enemies, right?

* * *

Once Igneous, Maud, and Pinkamena had left, the remaining four walked in the rock fields, checking to make sure the rocks hadn't been disturbed and if any had ripened. The girls bent down and sniffed, and would move on to the next one, instinctively tossing a ripe rock into their saddlebags and bypassing the unripe ones. Cheese smelled the rocks as well, still finding that they all smelled the same to him.

He sighed. _What kind of scent am I supposed to detect anyway?_

He plodded behind the girls, who continued checking each rock one by one. He could hear each snort and nicker they made, and they kept a steady pace as they collected ripe rocks. As he watched them, he wondered why he had bothered to come along when he was near useless at this task.

Marble glanced at him, stopped, and then backed up until she was right beside him. Now walking at his pace, she said to him, "You know, you could just tell another one of your stories."

Cheese looked at her. "Huh?"

Limestone backed up to join them, and added, "Yeah, you can pass the time with one of your tales."

"Uh, now? But, your mother is right there."

"We know that. Who's to say she'll disapprove of you recounting one of those adventures you've had?"

Cloudy stopped in her tracks and gave the girls an odd look. "Marble? Limestone? What the hay are you talking about?"

"Ma, Cheese is a traveler," Marble said. "He's been wandering Equestria since he was a colt, and has had plenty of adventures, and you know that adventures make great stories."

Cloudy huffed. "I bet they're tall tales."

"Oh, Ma," Limestone drawled. "I'm sure you've heard that real life is stranger than fiction."

"Then I suppose he has encountered weather that literally rained cats and dogs."

Cheese raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no. Unless pegasi sucked them up in a tornado and sent them to their weather factory to be put in clouds, I don't think we'll see any cat and dog weather."

"Huh." Cloudy sniffed another rock, and threw it into her bag. "You've been travelling since you were a colt, Mr. Sandwich? Why didn't your parents try to stop you?"

Cheese felt a chill grip his heart and he was frozen in his tracks. The pangs of loneliness that had hit him in his colthood were hitting him again, and he heard steady tick-tocks echoing in his head. He felt like he was sinking, and that cinderblocks were glued to his hooves. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from the girls, a deep shame swelling within him.

Marble tapped him on his withers. "Hey… you all right?"

Cheese took a deep breath, and let it out in a long exhale. "…I'll be fine."

That's when they heard the sound of a small collapse. There was the crumble of dirt, the hissing of sliding sand, and a comical _pop _as if a gopher had emerged. A couple more pops followed, prompting each pony in the small group to whirl around to face whatever had come.

Three large and dirty creatures had emerged from the hole, looking around the field with their backs turned to the ponies. Their fur colors were all muted grays and browns, and they wore vests of faded maroon, dark gray, and tan. From where the ponies stood, they could hear snickers.

"Ooo-hoo hoo! It looks like they left the farm to replace those tools!" one of them said.

"Getting Hank to help this season was genius! Genius I say!" another replied.

"Ehehe, I smell a lovely assortment of gems in this field, and we shall collect before they return!" the third said.

As the creatures crawled out of their hole, all the ponies adopted glares toward the trespassers. Cloudy stepped forward and loudly cleared her throat. The ears of the creatures twitched, and they spun around to meet the glares of the ponies. The Pies and Cheese could now see that they had canine features, though with flatter faces and bugged-out eyes compared to domesticated dogs. The eyes were especially larger with the realization that they were not alone.

"Buddy, Rider, Bailey… haven't seen you three in a while," Cloudy said, clearly unenthused. "Are you here to steal our rocks again or kidnap one of my daughters?"

The trio swept their eyes across the group, noting the presence of the mother and two of the Pie girls, as well as the absence of the father and the other two. They all looked at Cheese, and one of them pointed at him.

"Can we kidnap the tall mare?"

Cheese flushed red instantly, out of a mixture of embarrassment and irritation. _Do I even look like a mare? _he thought. This was the first time he had been confused for the wrong gender, and he sure did not want it to happen again.

Cloudy shook her head. "You're not very bright, are you?"

The tallest one stomped forward, growling at her. "You's saying we're not smart?"

"Yes, and I'm going to ask you to leave."

"What if we don't want to?"

Cloudy glanced at Limestone and Marble, and then resumed speaking to the dog. "I don't have to remind you how strong rock farmers are, do I? Even with Igneous, Maud, and Pinkamena absent, we can still drive you off."

"Even that thin one?"

She glanced at Cheese, who was utterly confused at the situation at hoof, but still clearly miffed at being called a mare. Slightly unsure, she said, "You willing to find out?"

The other two hopped forward, giggling like mad. The tallest laughed and said, "Come on, Cloudy. We've been working out, and we could outnumber you in a jiffy! Ya sure you can chase us away without your three strongest family members?"

Without missing a beat, Cloudy answered, "Yes, I'm sure. Because after all…"She started to stamp on the ground with her front hoof, as did her daughters. "…you're still outmatched."

* * *

Igneous, Maud, and Pinkamena walked into town, all three of them carrying empty saddlebags. With the cart broken and the tools needed to fix it severely damaged, they had to carry everything themselves once the tools were replaced. They made their way through the streets of Nickerlite, searching for the shop to replace them.

It was not long before they heard catcalls.

"Hey, lookit that mare!"

"'Ey, beautiful, where ya goin'?!"

"Hoo hoo hoo, shy aren't we?"

At first the remarks were ignored, due to the trio assuming they weren't made toward either of the girls. However, Pinkamena soon noticed some of the comments were getting a little specific.

"Hey, we can't see your flank under that dress!"

"What's your Cutie Mark, Miss Gray?"

"What's with that dull face? Come on, lady, smile!"

She lifted herself up on the tips of her hooves in order to look over her father, and see who was hollering and at whom. Much to her chagrin, it was those same thugs who raided the cart and harassed Cheese a couple weeks prior. And they were catcalling her sister.

She slowed her pace a little, letting Igneous and Maud walk ahead of her, and she wasted no time in glaring at the stallions and stomping her hoof hard on the ground. Once the group noticed her, the colors drained from their bodies. Pinkamena's stomp sounded like a sonic boom in their ears, and they sped off in a speed that seemed impossible.

Pinkamena snorted, and went to catch up with her father and sister. Of course, she was soon flanked by a familiar and unwelcome stallion.

"Well, howdy, Pinkie," Cortland drawled, putting a foreleg around her withers.

Pinkamena scowled and pushed the foreleg away. "Don't call me that."

"Why not? 'Pinkamena' is such a mouthful and it don't roll off the tongue. Besides, Pinkie is the nickname that fits yer cute li'l doll face."

"I don't have time for this."

"Why?"

"None of your business."

Cortland placed a hoof on his chest. "Of course it's mah business! Yer mah little beau, Pinkie."

Pinkamena glared at him. "No, I'm not. I never agreed to it."

"Oh? But the town's talkin' 'bout us."

"Did you start the rumor?"

"What gave ya that idea, Pinkie?"

"The fact that you're still persisting in that fantasy of yours. Now, go away, leave me to my own business, and stop calling me 'Pinkie.' I'm not interested in your courtship."

"But—"

Maud backed up between them, and ordered with a slightly raised voice, "Leave. She has made her disinterest clear."

Cortland blinked, narrowed his eyes and turned around. As he left, both girls heard him grumbling under his breath, presumably about how Pinkamena was a blind mare. After a few seconds of watching his departure, Maud turned to her younger sister.

Pinkamena breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's so nice to have a second opinion on that subject. That colt drives me up a wall."

Maud put a hoof on Pinkamena's back, and said, "He's gone now. Come on, let's catch up with Pa."

* * *

Meanwhile, the girls back home were putting up a fight against the trio of dogs. And so far, it seemed like the Pie mares had the upper hoof.

Cloudy Quartz was dealing with Buddy, the tall, dark gray one wearing the maroon vest. Though she was going on in years, she was tough enough to pin Buddy down with little effort. No matter how much the dog squirmed, he could not escape the single hoof pinning him to the ground. To add insult to injury, Cloudy was giving him a good spanking.

Marble Pie was up against Rider, the dark brown one wearing the tan vest. She somehow ended up riding him like a bull in a rodeo, only she also had to avoid the snaps of the dog's jaws and the occasion paw trying to grab her. Every chance she got, she'd deliver a swift kick to Rider's back, eliciting a pained yelp from the pooch.

Limestone Pie was fighting Bailey, the short, tan one wearing the dark gray vest. She had him in a headlock and was pinning him down to the ground, aggressively rubbing the top of his head with her free hoof. The dog's limbs flailed and the body wiggled, desperately trying to break free from the blue-gray mare's tight grasp.

Cheese sat on the sidelines, guarding their saddlebags. He watched the girls kick the dogs' butts seven ways to Sunday, and shook his head. Those mutts should have listened to Cloudy when she told them to leave. But instead they had to pick a fight with half of the Pie sisters and their mother, and odds turned out to be against the dogs. Cheese stayed out of it, figuring he would just get in the way.

He was glad for a break in the tedium. The past two weeks had become a predictable routine, and the lack of smiles had gotten on his nerves. Who would have thought that a dog raid would keep him from going crazy with boredom?

The spectacle before him was so entertaining that he wished he had popcorn. He knew that this was going to be a story worth telling in the future.

Cloudy was playing the role of a strict mother towards Buddy, with sharp scolding and whooping his behind with her bare hoof. When the dog had finally managed to slip away, he was quickly recaptured, and swatted with a branch that the older mare had picked from one of the bare trees.

Marble had now switched positions with Rider, who didn't take well to the wild bucking that she was doing. In fact, he looked as if he was going to throw up as he was being thrown around. He was clinging to her hair for dear life, screaming his lungs out. It wasn't long before Marble threw him off, and she jumped onto him for a good old-fashioned wrestle.

And Limestone still noogied Bailey like crazy.

Still, he had that gnawing suspicion that things were going a little too easy in favor of the Pies. For one thing, where was that backup they claimed to have?

That's when all three of the dogs howled simultaneously.

The howls echoed around the valley, and all was suddenly still. Cloudy and Limestone still had their dogs pinned down, and Marble had just wrestled hers down. Holding their opponents, their faces indicated dread.

Cheese himself felt a knot twist in his stomach, and though he was unsure what was going to happen, he was wishing it wouldn't happen.

Sure enough, there was great rumble behind him, and the sound of something large bursting out of the ground boomed in his eardrums. It was raining large clumps of dirt and rocks, and the girls let go of the dogs to avoid getting hit by the falling earth. Cheese still sat in his place, covering his head with his hooves.

After several moments, the soil stopped falling. He looked up, and could see that the Diamond Dogs were snickering, and the Pie mares were gaping at something above him. Cheese could feel hot breaths and a slimy liquid going down his neck, and it made his blood run cold. He looked above him, and beheld the largest and ugliest dog he had ever seen. Cheese turned himself around, and saw that the dog was twice his height and covered in splotches of darker and lighter grays. It didn't help that there was practically a waterfall of drool coming out of the mutt's mouth.

Buddy laughed and shouted, "Folks, lemme introduce ya to Hank!"

The wide-eyed Cheese lifted up a hoof and mildly waved, muttering, "Hi, Hank."

* * *

**A/N: You'd think a rock farm would not have any pests. Well, maybe in seasons where gems are aplenty do the Diamond Dogs come… I assume that just outside of Ponyville's not the only place where you find those brutes. **

**Also, I named those mutts after dogs that my family has owned (current dog is Bailey). Funny thing is, Hank was a puppy that we never got to see grow up (Mom got fed up with him and sold him), and our Bailey is a girl while the Bailey in this is a boy.**

**On a side note… more obvious references. I should be ashamed… XP **


	9. Doggone It

Lemon Drop was wiping the shelves when he heard the jingling of the bell, heavy hooves with smaller ones walking in, and his wife's sweet voice greeting the customer. He smiled as his angel made conversation with the father of the foals that were fixing to satisfy their sweet tooth.

"Morning, Mr. Haralson," Sugar Glider said. "How's your wife?"

"Howdy," Haralson replied. "She's as fit as a fiddle and ready to wrassle a minotaur."

"Oh, good, I was getting worried. I thought that dreaded illness would claim her. How about your older son?"

"Cortland? Well… he's healthy, but still tryin' to woo that Pie mare."

No one needed to ask which Pie mare. Lemon shook his head and continued to wipe, content to let Sugar continue the conversation, and hopefully avoid a discussion on the whole rumor of Pinkamena being Cortland's beau. He and Sugar knew that the pink member of the Pie family would never agree to it.

"I see… wow, Stayman and Idared are getting big!"

"Eeyup, and they're gettin' stronger. Them kids bucked a few apples outta th' big one."

"Ooh. And how do those two feel about that accomplishment?"

A little filly chirped, "Ah feel like a bear catching his first fish!"

She was followed by her brother saying, "Ah feel as strong as Pa!"

Stealing a glance at the foals, both light green with strawberry blonde manes, Lemon couldn't suppress his delighted chuckle. His eyes went back to Sugar—more specifically, the bulge their foal was occupying. He couldn't wait to feel the pride for his foal that Haralson held for his own.

"Are ya choosing the caramel again?" Haralson asked the two.

They nodded, and Sugar was happy to give them the two tidbits, which Haralson paid for and the foals happily gobbled up. Then they climbed onto their father's back, and the colt was pulling at the blonde mane in front of him. Though Haralson grimaced at each tug, he chuckled. Glancing out the window, he saw Igneous Rock and two of his daughters pass by the window.

"Ah haven't really socialized with the Pies in a while…" he muttered.

"Excuse me?" Sugar asked.

"The Pies. Ah haven't really talked with Igneous since his family helped out with the Parasprite invasion, and that was back when Cortland was a little colt. The most we've talked since that day was when he'd buy a couple of apples every now and then."

"What are you saying?" Lemon asked, taking his place next to his wife.

"Ah dunno, ah guess ah could invite the Pies ta dinner or somethin'."

Lemon scratched his head, ruffling his light brown mane in the process. "You could… although there's that rumor floating 'round town."

"What rumor?" the colt asked, tugging on his sister's pigtail. Haralson swatted the colt's hoof and glared at him. Then he turned back to Lemon to hear the answer.

"The rumor of Pinkamena being Cortland's beau."

The foals winced as their father yelled, "…now who dun started that rumor?!"

"I dunno."

"Ugh, them morons will believe anything," Haralson grumbled. "Ah've seen her, and she don't care for mah son that much. Ah'll talk with Igneous 'bout this and he and ah will find the darn fool and set 'em straight!"

The two foals looked at each other as their father stormed out of the shop with them in tow. Lemon and Sugar simply stared at the door for a few moments, pursing their lips.

Finally, Lemon stated, "He's right that Pinkamena is not thrilled to be pursued by Cortland."

Sugar sighed. "Cortland really should understand he's just not her type."

Lemon quirked an eyebrow. "Does she even have a type?"

Sugar shrugged in response.

* * *

Cheese rolled out of the way of one of Hank's giant paws, and he heard it slam in the dirt beside him. His heart pounded as the other paw fell toward him, and he leaped forward before it crushed him. A fist swung his way, and he ducked before it could hit him. Another fist came, and this time he jumped back, finding himself looking up at the mangled face of the dog he was facing.

_The biggest one, _he thought. _I just had to end up fighting the biggest one. Ugh, this is worse than the Santa Hooves incident!_

Hank smirked, and started to snort in a prolonged manner. A disgusting slosh was heard in the mutt's mouth before he spit at Cheese.

An alarmed Cheese jumped out of the way, but to his misfortune, the spit got his tail. When he landed from his jump, he looked back at the hair of his tail tangled up in dog spit. Seeing it drip in long stretches, he pulled a face and muttered, "Ewww…"

And then he had to run again as Hank pounded his chest like a gorilla and attempted to hit him again, whether by fist or open paw. The slamming of each paw behind him held a slow rhythm, and spooked him even more with each impact.

_Boom._

_Boom. _

_Boom._

Another one had him springing forward, and as he landed, he nearly tripped on a rock. He caught himself and tried to stop, only to slide on all four hooves and hope he wouldn't trip on another rock.

He skidded to a stop, breathing heavily as he tried to process something other than fear in his mind. A paw aiming for him swiped, and he stumbled back as the claws barely missed his muzzle by inches. He landed on his rump, which unfortunately took a seat on a rock. The sharp pain made him yelp and jump back onto his hooves, and he was smacked away by the large paw.

He flew several feet before slamming into the ground and rolling in the dust. The roll was a bumpy ride in the rock field that was sure to give him cuts and bruises. Hank's saliva on Cheese's coat, poncho, and tail made the dirt stick to him, and his open mouth gave way to some soil on his tongue.

Once he stopped rolling, Cheese felt like he was still spinning. Nausea bubbled in his stomach, and he could feel tiny painful points that speckled his body, spreading into sore blotches. The shouts of the mares were garbled in his ears, and everything in his vision was a blur.

He shakily got to his hooves, and started spitting out the dirt that accumulated in his mouth. His eyes were squeezed shut as he trembled, and the taste of the dirt was mixed with something foul. He didn't even want to think of why there was such a horrid taste on his tongue.

Yep, it was definitely worse than the Santa Hooves incident.

He heard Hank roar, "_Ribbit!" _and the next thing he knew there was an earth-shaking _thud_ in front of him. Cheese's eyes snapped open, only to find his vision still blurry. He wondered if he had not completely recovered from his fall, and worried about the possible trauma he had. As he backed up instinctively, it hit him.

His glasses. Where were his glasses?

A "ribbit" from Hank signaled another hop, and Cheese felt the dog land behind him. He kept himself from falling over from the mini earthquake, though just barely. He had swung around completely in the process, and he was sure the blurry form he could barely make out in was Hank. His legs were still shaking, he was covered in sweat, saliva, and dirt, and he couldn't help but worry about his glasses possibly having been broken.

Elsewhere, the girls still had the advantage over the other three dogs. No matter who fought who, Buddy still ended up with a sore bottom, Rider ended up with a sore back, and Bailey ended up with a sore scalp. It wasn't long before they gave up their battles, and decided that Hank could take care of the mares once he was finished with Cheese. So, they retreated to the hole they came from.

Cloudy, Marble, and Limestone ran to the hole that the dogs dove into, and glared down it. Without hesitating, Cloudy said to her daughters, "They must have our rocks in their hideout. Follow those mongrels and get them back. I'll stay and help Cheese!"

"Yes, Ma!" the two younger mares said before diving into the hole.

After watching them jump in, Cloudy spun around and started to gallop toward Hank. She didn't slow down as she scooped up a hoofful of dirt, and only stopped to chuck it at the back of the dog's head. The impact made Hank stagger forward, but he caught himself before he fell onto Cheese. Unfortunately for the latter, the smell of dog breath reached his nostrils, and more drool dripped onto him.

Cheese gagged. "Ugh… please get some heavy-duty mouthwash!"

Hank didn't listen, and turned his attention to Cloudy, who was pawing at the ground as she held the fiercest glare. Giving her an evil eye in response, Hank barked, "RIBBIT!"

Unwavering, Cloudy dryly replied, "Dogs don't ribbit."

With a roar, Hank threw a punch, only for Cloudy to block it with a raised hoof, and then smack him across the cheek with the other. As Hank yelped and tried to soothe his throbbing cheek, she looked at Cheese and yelled, "What are you just standing there for?!"

Cheese gritted his teeth and pointed at his face. "Can you not see my glasses are missing? I can barely make out Hank there!"

Cloudy groaned. "I'll keep an eye out for them! Just keep track of the moving gray blob and think of some way to fight him!"

"Um… right…" Cheese chuckled nervously.

A growl from Hank sent chills up Cheese's spine, and he couldn't resist backing up to avoid any damage that could come upon him. His eyes were on the large gray blob that towered over the grayish-white blob that was Cloudy. It hurt his eyes to see the blobs move in such a blur, engaging in a fight. His head was beginning to pound and he found himself wishing for the tedium that had been present the days before.

Even worse, his general feeling of uselessness was surfacing again, and he could only sit down and curse his poor eyesight.

* * *

"Well, it looks like we've gathered everything we need," Igneous grumbled. He stepped out of the shop and into the dusty street, followed by Maud and Pinkamena. Adjusting his hat, he continued, "Now, girls, let's get back to the rock farm and—"

"Igneous!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned his head to see the large stallion galloping toward him. Two laughing foals rode on his back, and the colt appeared to be wearing his father's brown Stetson. The large stallion skidded to a stop, stopping short of hitting Igneous, who didn't even flinch.

Igneous raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Haralson?"

Haralson shook the dust off his coat, and the squeals of his foals were rattled, much to their delight. Over their giggles, Haralson continued, "Ah've been lookin' for you."

"Me? What for?"

"Do you know 'bout the crazy rumor floatin' 'round town?"

Igneous opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by two loud mares passing by, cooing, "Ooh, look, I bet they're discussing the courtship right now."

As they walked away, Pinkamena shouted, "There is no courtship! Hasn't anyone taught you not to gossip?!"

"Calm down, Pinkamena," Maud said.

Igneous remained stone-faced as he answered, "If you're talking about the courtship rumor, I've heard it."

Haralson nodded. "Somepony got the fool idea that mah son and yer daughter—the pink one—are beaus."

"That fool idea originated with your son," Pinkamena snarled.

The colt on Haralson's back leaned over and asked, "Me? Ah didn't start no rumor."

"She was talking about Cortland, Stayman," Haralson said in an exasperated sigh. Facing Pinkamena, he asked, "But are ya sure it was him? Ah don't think he'd resort ta lyin' to the whole town just ta win yer heart. It's a plum stupid thing ta do."

"No kidding," Pinkamena muttered. "But considering how many times I've had to repeat that I'm not interested, I wouldn't put it past him."

"Ugh… Ah'll talk to him about it, and hopefully we can clear this rumor up. It's a shame, really, that them gossipers are flapping their jaws about; Ah've been thinkin' about inviting you folks ta dinner."

Igneous snorted. "Why?"

"Just ta catch up, is all."

Igneous sighed and shook his head. "No… no, we're far too busy, and we've got a lot of extra work ahead. Somepony vandalized our property and stole all our rocks. We've had to spend quite a few bits to replace our tools, and I'm unable to pay the hired help."

"Pardon? Hired help?"

"I hired a stallion who crawled all the way to the rock farm just to ask for a job. Skinny thing, I'm hoping to build some muscle into him."

"Is he handsome?" the filly asked, her green eyes gleaming.

Haralson rolled his eyes. "Idared, Ah don't think that's important."

"Why not, Pa? Iggy-knees has a bunch of daughters. Surely one of 'em is in love with him."

By way of facial features, Pinkamena did not deny that Cheese was at least pleasant to look at. He was lean without looking undernourished or menacing, and yet he held a childlike glow. His smile was warm, and his eyes reminded her of emeralds. And then there was his voice, which she always felt a strange warmth upon hearing.

Igneous snorted. "He and I had an agreement that he wouldn't attempt any sort of romance with any of my daughters. I'm sorry, Idared, but this isn't a fairy tale."

Idared fiddled with her pigtail, staring off into space dreamily. "It could happen. Ma says it's a hard thing ta fight."

Igneous stared at the filly for a moment before saying to Haralson, "Your daughter has an active imagination."

"She sure does. Anyway, Ah'd like to meet this fella sometime. Maybe Ah'll drop by for a visit in a day or two." Haralson made a motion to tip his hat, but ended up touching his forehead before he remembered that Stayman had it. With a sheepish grin, he said, "See ya later," before turning and heading back home. The two foals on his back happily waved at them as they parted.

Igneous looked at his daughters, who merely stared back, waiting with the tools in their saddlebags. He cleared his throat and said, "It's time we go home."

* * *

Cloudy wasn't as nimble as she had been during her younger years, but she was at least keeping Hank busy. Cheese couldn't really do anything to help while his glasses were gone, and Marble and Limestone hadn't returned from their trip to retrieve the stolen rocks. She made quick periodic sweeps of the ground to locate Cheese's glasses, all the while dodging Hank's attacks and throwing clumps of dirt at him.

She could feel a pinching in her knees and the beginnings of a side stitch as she continued to avoid Hank's leaps, and her sharp breaths burned her throat. Her legs were steadily growing weaker, and a moment where Hank managed to catch her tail testified to her slowing down. She bucked Hank's paw and leapt forward when he released his grip.

She stole glances at the sulking Cheese, who was clearly straining to see the battle. She grumbled under her breath about how the stallion needed contacts, or perhaps a way to keep his glasses on, and scanned the ground as she galloped.

"RIBBIT!" Hank roared as he hopped over Cloudy and landed in front of her. She looked up a little too late, and she bounced off his belly with a comical _boing. _She landed on her side on some dusty rocks, and she felt one of her forelegs scraping a sharp one. Clenching her teeth as she got back up, she put a hoof over her wound and could feel herself starting to shake, even as she tried to stay steady. She blew on some stray hairs that had fallen out of her bun, and looked at Cheese, who had apparently noticed something wrong.

"Cloudy? Are you okay?" he called, standing up and carefully feeling the ground around him.

She could already feel the scrape beginning to bleed. "I'll be all right!"

That's when she spotted them. Miraculously intact, Cheese's glasses were resting on a rock pile not too far from where Cloudy was.

She felt the hot breaths of the large dog behind her, and bucked him in the jaw before hobbling to the rock pile. Once she reached it, she picked up the glasses with her mouth, and set her sights on the young stallion. Her scrape stung and her joints ached as she limped forward, carefully stepping over the rocks to keep herself from tripping. Hearing Hank growl, she only limped faster, not caring for the blood seeping out of the wound.

"Cheese Sandwich, you get over here this instant!" she yelled through gritted teeth, still holding the glasses.

"Huh?!" Cheese replied. "Why?"

"No time for questions, just come!"

Cheese gulped. "Um… okay…"

He carefully began to tread through the rock field, feeling for flat earth with each step. His hooves didn't exactly weave around the rocks, instead taking a step on one, recoiling, and placed a little further until it hit dirt. He had a feeling that Cloudy was getting impatient, but hurrying would just make him trip. He continued stepping forward to the pale form, hoping the gray form behind her wouldn't interrupt before they met up.

Of course, just when they were almost to each other, Hank came between them, barking, "Ribbit!" once again.

The thud of the dog made Cheese jump, and he stumbled onto some rocks. His heart pounded at being in close proximity to Hank again, and he was expecting more gallons of spit on him. Then he realized that he didn't know just which side was facing him; for all he knew, he could have something much more unpleasant dumped on him.

However, he found himself annoyed with Hank saying "ribbit" all the time. Why did he say that? Was it just to annoy ponies and his fellow dogs, or was he really that stupid?

He got up on his feet, took a deep breath, and yelled, "Excuse me, but you are not a frog!"

If the canine hadn't been looking at him before, he was surely looking at him now. Hank growled at the stallion who dared to speak up, and Cheese could hear the unmistakable sound of dripping.

"_Luuunnnccchh…" _Hank drawled.

Cheese let out a half-nervous chuckle. "Um, me? Lunch? No, no, no, I wouldn't be that good. Not enough meat on my bones, buddy."

"Me not Buddy!"

"Oh… right, that's your friend. My mistake. Still, I don't think I'd be that good of a meal." Cheese had to keep himself from gagging at Hank's breath.

Hank began to sniff Cheese, who could feel an awful pit in his stomach and his legs too heavy for him to move. A million thoughts went through his head at once, and he couldn't process most of them. Those he could process were the certainty that Hank was going to bite his head off, things that he regretted, and an image of Pinkamena.

However, before Hank could even do anything, Cloudy had hobbled around him and delivered a swift kick to his side with her hind leg. She immediately got moving when Hank howled, and limped her way to the unmoving Cheese. She freed her front hoof just long enough to tap Cheese, and quickly put it back over her wound, ignoring the stinging. When he made a movement to look at her, she rose up and put the glasses on his muzzle.

Cheese blinked as everything became clear, and he could make out every detail of Cloudy's face. He scanned up and down her body, and caught sight of some blood under a hoof that she was holding over her foreleg.

"Cloudy! Your leg!"

"I know!"

Cheese was about to rip off a strip of his poncho to bandage the wound, but Cloudy stopped him, noting its drool and dirt covered state. Before she could offer an alternative, however, Hank was up again, growling at them.

Cheese groaned. "Can't he just give us a moment?"

Through her teeth, Cloudy ordered, "Find some way to get rid of him and _fast_."

"Uh, okay, right… right," Cheese mumbled. He scanned the field around them, his heart racing. He could see the rocks on the landscape, and thought about throwing them at the mutt. He looked at the house, and wondered if there were any weapons inside. And then he looked at the bare trees that sprouted from a few places in the otherwise barren field. Looking at the branches, an idea came to him.

With a sly smile, he bolted toward the nearest tree, whistling as he did so. This earned confused looks from both Cloudy and Hank, who continued to watch as he hopped onto a large branch and chomp on one of the smaller ones. He pulled at it until it cracked, and he fell out of the tree with a decent sized stick in his mouth. After rubbing his rump, he stood up, and spat the stick onto his hoof.

He waved it, calling, "You want the stick?"

Hank tilted his head, while Cloudy narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Want the stick? You want it? Do you?"

Cloudy was about to ask what he was doing when she noticed that Hank's tail was wagging. Whatever he was doing, it had the dog's attention.

"Come here, boy! I know you want the stick!" Cheese hollered, starting to gallop away. With a happy bark, Hank took pursuit of the pony with the stick.

Cloudy could only stare in bemusement as Cheese led Hank away from the rock farm, and she wondered if Cheese had thought his little plan through. She shook her head. At least Diamond Dogs were stupid.

She glanced at the hole, and to her relief, Marble and Limestone had returned. They were hauling bags of rocks out of it, and they had only had small scratches on their bodies. She couldn't help but feel a swell of pride that the two had handled themselves quite well.

"CLOUDY!"

She snapped her attention in front of her, where Igneous, Maud, and Pinkamena were galloping toward her, with concern highly evident on Igneous' face. He skidded to a stop and took her foreleg. He looked at it, and asked, "What happened?"

"Diamond Dogs," Cloudy answered simply.

Igneous' brow furrowed. "Of course. Those troublemakers always come when gems are plentiful. Who'd they kidnap this time?"

"Nopony," Marble answered, dragging a bag to the group.

Limestone followed, glancing around. "Unless that Hank guy took Cheese."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Pinkamena, which she released when she realized that the others had heard her and were now looking at her. With a cough, she muttered, "Figures that they kidnapped a stallion with sticks for legs. I could tell he was easy pickings the moment I saw him."

"Nah, they didn't kidnap him," Cloudy said. "He just distracted Hank and led him away from the farm."

"Distracted him? With what?" Marble asked.

Cloudy looked directly at her, and said in the driest tone imaginable, "A stick."

The others stared at her with the most incredulous looks, with Maud's being far more subtle than the others'. A few moments of silence passed before Igneous coughed and spoke.

"Well… let's just patch up that foreleg of yours, Cloudy. Marble, Limestone—those are our rocks, right? Just take them to the barn, and we'll lock them and the new tools up."

As Igneous and Maud led Cloudy back to the house, the matriarch looked at Pinkamena and said, "Go find Cheese and make sure he's not dead."

Pinkamena sighed. "Right."

* * *

**A/N: I hate how long it took to write this. I was trying to figure out the direction I wanted to take and how to describe the action. And then at some points I overthought about some points and various implications about them. I have a bad habit of that. XP**

**On a different note, Marble and Limestone must have kicked some serious Diamond Dog butt offscreen. XD**


	10. Forest Folly

Cheese Sandwich didn't know where he was going.

All he knew was that he was dashing through the forest, holding a big stick in his mouth, and being chased by a tall, bulky, and ugly excuse for a canine. His plan to lure Hank away from Cloudy Quartz worked; now how was he supposed to get rid of him?

He tripped over a root, and quickly picked himself up before galloping once again. It didn't matter to him that his chin was now throbbing and his throat stung with each breath. He needed to keep going, at least until he came up with a plan to ditch Hank and make sure he wouldn't return to the rock farm for a very long time.

He glanced around his surroundings, hoping to spot something that could aid him. There were the trees he was weaving through, the rocks he leapt over, and the shrubbery he sidestepped. Tiny sticks cracked under his hooves, and his coat was growing damp with his sweat. His teeth held his stick firmly, and his heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his ears.

Behind him, he could hear trees snapping and tumbling down to earth as Hank crashed through them. Cheese could sense that the dog was catching up, and once the brute caught him, he was done for. He imagined the Pie family finding his remains should they look for him, and the picture in his head was not a pretty one. He kept searching his surroundings, all the while trying to keep looking forward as well.

He caught sight of a low branch ahead of him, and pushed himself into a faster gallop. His mouth occupied by the stick, Cheese ducked and then let his tail snag the branch, and he pulled it to the side so it bent in an unnatural direction. He hid behind the tree, still clinging to the branch. It fought the pull of his tail in order to spring back into its original position, but he wasn't about to let it go. Not yet.

He heard the rhythmic thumps of Hank's paws and his heavy panting, which was marked by the sloshing of drool. The sound nearly made the stallion gag, and he wasn't sure he could successfully pull the branch thing off. What if he let go too early and blew his cover? What if he let go too late?

The slobbery panting drew closer, and Cheese took a deep breath. His painful heartbeat was in time with each step of Hank's, and he could already feel the branch slipping out of his tail's grasp. He prayed that should it slip, the timing would be perfect.

The rapid footsteps stopped for a brief moment, only for a great thud to boom right next to Cheese's tree.

"_RIBBIT!"_

The landing of the apparent leap and the sound of Hank's voice startled Cheese, and the branch slipped out of his tail. He bolted once the branch was released. The _"thwack" _and the pained howl barely registered in his mind as he galloped away from the large dog.

_Come on, Cheese, you've got to do better than that! _He didn't know if whipping Hank in the face—or perhaps a different body part—with a branch would stall the canine for long. If anything, Hank was really ticked off.

He was back into his pattern of dodging trees, rocks, and bushes, with a burning in his throat and his lungs feeling as they would burst. All four of his legs were aching, and he could hear them begging him to slow down. He was soaked with his sweat, and a queasy feeling arose within him. He didn't know how much longer he could push himself, and he was sure he'd collapse before long.

A blink of his took too long, and he tripped on a rock. He stumbled to catch his footing, only to step in some water he didn't realize was there. Blinking as he stared at his two front hooves, he looked around, finding himself at a river. The side that he was on was full of trees, while the other side boasted an enormous, shimmering boulder. Looking up, he could see one of the mountains that could be seen from the rock farm, only that it was much closer.

Before he could ponder how far he had run, he heard the bark of "_Ribbit!" _In a panic, he shimmied up the nearest tree, despite the imaginary screaming of his muscles. He threw himself onto the highest branch he could, and forced himself to hold his heavy breaths.

Hank skidded to a stop in front of the river, glancing around the around in search of the stallion. One look at the canine made Cheese's blood run cold. Low growls were coming from the dog, and drool rained from his mouth. One bug-eye was squeezed shut, apparently from the branch that Cheese had used earlier, and the open one suggested a feral quality. His fangs were bared and the fur on his back was bristled.

Cheese could feel himself begin to tremble. How was he supposed to get rid of him now? He was tired, stuck in a tree, and almost certain to be spotted within a minute. The only thing he was carrying was a stick, and he wasn't sure if it'd be any use at this point. He was sure that Hank wanted his blood.

Still, his eyes were drawn to that boulder across the river. He wished that he could just drop the large rock onto Hank's head, or at least make him run into it.

_Wait a minute…_ he thought, still staring at the rock.

Hank barked, and Cheese snapped his head around to find the dog leaping toward him, his mouth wide open to bite his head off. Cheese quickly scooted forward on the branch, and felt some tail hairs being pulled and splinters fly onto his rump as the jaws snapped onto the branch. He yanked his tail away from the teeth, and growled a raspy "Ouch!" as some hair was pulled out.

His legs still hurt, but he forced himself to jump out of the tree and fall into the river below. He stumbled on the fall, and he didn't know if the mud made it better or the rocks made it worse. Still, that saved him the trouble of having to figure out a way to shimmy back down the tree. Not only that, he could see the boulder right in front of him.

He stood up and waded through the water, starting slow so he wouldn't be so hard on his legs. However, he hastened when he heard the thud of Hank landing on the riverbank. Once he reached the boulder, he turned around, spat the stick out, and cooed, "Here, froggy, froggy, froggy…"

"_Me no froggy! Me Hank!"_

Cheese blinked. "Really? Because you say 'ribbit' all the time."

Hank roared, and leapt forward, his mouth wide open to snatch Cheese. However, the stallion darted forward, and slipped under Hank before the dog even landed. And then, Cheese stopped to hear the inevitable collision of head and stone.

When he turned back around, Hank was lying unconscious in a bulky heap. Cheese couldn't help but stare at the Diamond Dog, and he sat on his haunches, his entire bottom half submerged in the water. After a few moments, he let out a relieved sigh.

"I hope he's out long enough for me to skedaddle," he muttered. "I'm lucky that he's so dense."

Barely a few seconds after he said that, Hank was lifted by the current and carried off. Cheese blinked, and stared at the scene before him. He watched as the large dog floated downriver, going to who-knows-where while out like a light.

"Uh… I guess he's less dense than I thought… bye, Hank…" He continued to stare at Hank, who apparently looked like a boat at the distance he'd already been carried. In light of the awkward moment, Cheese began to sing, _"Float, float, float your dog, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life's weirder than a dream…"_

Once Hank was out of sight, Cheese shakily stood up. "Guess I oughta get back to the rock farm."

However, he had hardly made the first step to turn around when throbbing aches gripped his legs and sent him back sitting down. His body hardly felt like moving, and he just held the inevitable desire to lie down. His throat was dry, and his lungs still hurt from the panting he had done during the run.

He lay on his belly and crawled to the bank, guzzling some water along the way. His aching muscles made the crawl tedious, and a few times he coughed when water went down the wrong pipe. He could feel the current pulling on his poncho, and the droplets on his glasses irritated him as he looked ahead.

Still, he made it to the bank, climbed out of the river, and laid in the shade of a tree. Sand was sticking to his wet coat, his wet poncho, and his wet tail. He could feel the stings of the cuts and bruises from the battle at the rock farm earlier, and they did not sit well with his weary legs. His estimate of how far he had run and that fact that he'd have to walk all the way back made him more exhausted just thinking about it.

And he felt a little guilty for leaving Cloudy Quartz alone when she had a wound that needed tending to. He hoped that she hadn't been alone for very long.

He closed his eyes. Maybe a nap would do him some good.

* * *

All Pinkamena had to do was follow the fallen trees that she kept coming across. Considering how big Diamond Dogs could get, she was hardly surprised at the damage she walked through. Still, she hadn't met this Hank, and she wondered just how big and ugly he was. He certainly wouldn't compare to Goliath, who had nabbed her years ago. Or Bingo, who had kidnapped Maud. Or Bert and Ernie, who had abducted Marble and Limestone. Of course, all of those kidnappings had been big mistakes on the part of the dogs.

She was sure she would find a headless Cheese somewhere. She won't deny that it was a real shame if she found that. After all, they had only known him for a couple of weeks, and he had so much of his life ahead of him. However, her heart felt quite heavy at the thought of the hired hoof being dead.

She walked around a trampled bush, sweeping her eyes for that bright orange coat. Despite much of the plant life being disturbed, she could hear the birds chirping and whistling away in song. It was hard to ignore, especially if they sang a familiar tune. She didn't know where it came from, she didn't recall ever hearing it before it got stuck in her head, she didn't even recall her family even sing since Granny Pie had passed. Even so, the birds were singing it, and she recognized it.

And began to hum it.

It was a song that needed words, but she couldn't think of them. It was something that needed to be sung out loud, but wasn't because it could be butchered. Pinkamena hadn't sung since she was a tiny filly, and there was no way in her mind she'd be any good. Besides, it wouldn't fit the mood of the rock farm. But there was no harm in humming it while she was alone in the forest.

Her journey took her to the river, and she spotted Cheese Sandwich lying under a tree, completely intact and breathing, though he was a mess. There appeared to be no sign of the Diamond Dog that had chased him, so she couldn't help but wonder how he got rid of him.

She walked toward him. When she was close enough, she crouched down and prodded him with her hoof.

Cheese stirred and mumbled, "Mom… I don't wanna go to school today…"

Pinkamena rolled her eyes and blew on her hair, and then poked him again.

"No, I don't like sauerkraut…"

She gave him a harder nudge, which elicited a groan and the phrase, "Go play by yourself; it's three in the morning…"

Pinkamena snorted and shook him, which got him to finally open his eyes. He looked up with tired, yet bewildered eyes, and yawned.

"Good, you're awake," Pinkamena said. "Why are you napping? Where's this Diamond Dog that had been chasing you?"

Cheese lifted his head with a moan. "I nearly killed myself running from Hank; I'm still tired and achy from galloping who-knows-how-long. I'm just lucky to be alive."

"Well, where is he?"

"Oh, he floated down the river after I tricked him into running into that boulder." Seeing Pinkamena's incredulous look, he added, "I wouldn't believe it either if I hadn't seen it."

Pinkamena gave him an icy stare. "Get up. We're going home."

"Aww… do I have to? I was enjoying my nap…"

"I don't want to keep Ma and Pa waiting."

Cheese sighed. "Fine."

* * *

**A/N: Why I took a bit this time… eeyah, I'm a lazy bum. Also, it was hard figuring out just how Cheese should get rid of Hank. I went for a bit of a… weird option, instead of the expected "Pinkamena comes and kicks Hank's butt" thing. **

**Also, I bet you can guess what this song Pinkamena hums here is. ;)**


	11. Respite

The Pies had waited a while before Pinkamena kicked the front door open and walked in, carrying Cheese on her back. Their attention had snapped from Cloudy's bandaged foreleg and Marble and Limestone's various cuts to the pink Pie sister. They were all silent and stone-faced as she bent down and slid him onto the rug before announcing, "He lives."

Cloudy leaned from her spot on the couch and asked, "Did he break a leg?"

"No, he collapsed when we were halfway back."

Cheese shot her a glare. "I told you I was tired."

Igneous wrinkled his muzzle. "From what? Running from the Diamond Dog chasing you? I'm surprised he didn't catch you."

"Exactly what I was thinking," Cloudy said. "Getting Hank to chase you like that was a fool thing to do. You could have been killed."

Cheese sighed and rubbed his temples. "Don't you think I know that? It's a good thing he was an idiot."

"How'd you get rid of him, anyway?" Marble asked.

"Oh? I tricked him into running into a boulder and then he floated down that river in the forest. The way he just drifted downstream was actually kind of amusing."

The Pies gave him the exact same incredulous look that Pinkamena had given him when he told her that, just as he expected. The only one who didn't was Maud, who held her usual inexpressive look. Cheese couldn't help but wonder if the oldest Pie sister could even feel anything. The way he saw it, all she ever did was blink whenever he said something.

After a few minutes that seemed like hours, Cheese asked, "Can I take a bath?"

* * *

That night, after taking extra precautions to prevent a repeat of what had happened the night before, everypony decided it was best for those involved in the fight to retire early. It was plain to see how tired they were from driving the Diamond Dogs away. They had their baths—especially Cheese, who had been covered in dirt and smelled like dog slobber. They were to pull extra weight in the coming days to fix the damage to the fields, especially to patch the large, gaping holes in the middle of the fields.

Igneous, however, was still a little wary about the whole thing, and he sat outside that night to keep watch. Even though those dogs had not much in the way of brains, they still managed to come up with a plan to get him and two of his daughters off the rock farm. He figured that they meant for all to leave, but he did leave his wife, two other daughters, and the hired hoof to watch the farm for a reason.

However, even with the combined strength of the three girls and whatever the stallion had that was useful, Cloudy did get hurt. Marble and Limestone took a big risk in going to the lair to retrieve the stolen rocks. Cheese burned himself out in leading the biggest one away. All turned out well, but each of those scenes could have turned out differently.

Things were hard enough when he and Cloudy lost their mothers, especially for their fillies. Igneous didn't know just how he'd handle it if he lost his wife or any of his daughters. Would he become harder, as he did when his mother died, or would it be different?

The hired hoof was another matter. Cheese had only been with them for a couple of weeks. For Igneous, at most there would be guilt for letting somepony he employed get killed. He didn't know his daughters' views on the lean stallion, and frankly, he didn't care unless there was some sort of attraction between him and at least one of them. How'd they react to his death would depend.

It would be right to inform Cheese's family should he die, but there was a problem: Who were they? Where is he from? Did he even have a family?

Igneous had not been interested in his background—other than his former jobs. But considering the close call he had, and his shy demeanor compared to other drifters, it was a bit of a curiosity. Realizing where his mind was taking him, Igneous rubbed his chin and snorted. It wasn't his place to pry into his employee's life.

"Are you sure you want to be out here by yourself?"

Igneous turned to the source of the voice, who was none other than his wife. Cloudy Quartz hobbled to his side and sat down next to him. Igneous stared at her for a few moments before turning away and sighing.

"Cloudy, go back to bed."

"Not happening as long as you're out here, you old coot."

"Cloudy, you need your rest. Besides, I can handle any intruders on my own."

Cloudy didn't move from her spot. She looked up at the dark sky and inhaled the cool night air. She didn't dare look down and see the mess of rocks from the battle. Her foreleg stung just thinking about the fall that had cut it.

"Cloudy—"

"No, I'm not going back inside," Cloudy retorted.

"You've been through a lot."

"Considering that Limestone and Marble fought an army of them by themselves, and Cheese nearly ran himself to death, I think I'll be fine. My leg will heal, those three will recharge, and then all of us can go back to business as usual." She stamped her hoof on the ground. "Or are you worried because neither of us are getting any younger?"

Igneous shook his head. "Why did I even marry you?"

Cloudy rolled her eyes. "Well, I couldn't read your mind then, and I can't read it now. You tell me."

Igneous closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There appeared the picture of a younger Cloudy Quartz, who had long, silky, teal hair that stood out nicely with her pale coat. He remembered first seeing her as he moseyed along the streets of Nickerlite with his father, and was struck dumb by the very sight of her. He remembered the warm tingling feeling when she looked at him with radiant blue eyes. He remembered the joy he felt when they had talked and found common ground with rocks.

He remembered their acquaintanceship had become friendship, and their friendship had blossomed into love. He recalled the courtship that had followed, and the things that sprung forth from that. Their first kiss. The warmth they felt around each other. Their engagement, which in turn led to marriage. And then came their daughters.

Igneous sighed contentedly. "I feel really comfortable around you."

Cloudy nodded. "I see. It's good to know you still hold concern for us."

"Yes, I do. I want to say I'm happy, but… I…"

Cloudy put a hoof on his. "I know. There's something missing."

"Our crazy mothers?"

"Well, yes, and whatever it was they had that made us… well, smile. I can't remember the last time I did that, much less you or the girls."

"Yeah…" The event that popped into his mind was when the fillies were taught to laugh at their fears by their Granny Pie. The one who had taken it most to heart was Pinkamena, who had been a strange, giggly, bouncy foal from birth until both of her grandmothers' sudden deaths. After that, she was just sad, up until she developed a grumpy streak in adolescence. Where she had got that from, he had no idea.

He looked at his wife, and said, "Cloudy, please go back to bed."

"Nope. Not happening."

* * *

Cheese laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, despite it just looking like a blur to him. His limbs all felt like rubber, and he couldn't suppress the awful joke of him being boneless in those poor legs. After having whispered it aloud and chuckling in self-derision, he felt a little disappointed that he couldn't tell another story to Limestone and Marble. Of course, after their adventure that day, he didn't need to.

Still, he was planning on telling the one with the minotaur.

_Oh, well,_ he thought. _Guess it'll wait until tomorrow._

Of course, he was now worried that they wouldn't believe that any of the stories really happened, given the simultaneous raised eyebrows in his direction when he told them what happened to Hank. Whether they believed him or not, all his weird misadventures happened. After all, for some reason, he tended to attract weirdness like a magnet.

He felt like rubbing his eyes, but he didn't feel like moving any of his limbs. No matter about the Pies taking his stories for fiction, especially the Hank thing. He felt a bit of pride in having survived an encounter with that behemoth and outsmarting him. He just wished he had more proof other than his own word. If there had been cracks on the boulder where Hank hit his head, perhaps Pinkamena could have believed him.

"Pinkamena," he whispered. That was a mouthful. If he could, he would just call her "Pinkie." It was as cute as a button, however, and while her face was cute, her general demeanor wasn't. Perhaps if she were to smile, then the little nickname would fit.

But, then again, she might not welcome the nickname "Pinkie." Perhaps "Mena" would be more suitable. Of course, that could bring on the implication that he thought she was mean and was giving her a nickname to reflect that. And he was pretty sure that would not end well.

Why was he even thinking about her name?

Sleeping was what he should be doing. Shutting his eyes, he could feel his body ache with the prospect of fixing up the fields once morning came. As his breathing fell into a slower rhythm and his eyelids unable to open, an image of the pink mare sleeping in the other room arose in his mind.

And she donned the most adorable smile.

* * *

**A/N: Phooey, it's a short one. Tis nothing but semi-fluffy, semi-sad filler to wrap up the Diamond Dog episode. I hope you guys had fun with that! :D **


	12. Need a Hoof?

The next few days were full of not only moving and sorting rocks, but also filling the holes and tunnels that the Diamond Dogs have dug. Some rocks were sorted into the new category of being used to plug the holes along with soil gathered from both around the farm and elsewhere. Causing cave-ins deep in the tunnels to help with filling them up—as well as discouraging the Diamond Dogs from attempting another raid—was a dangerous task, but all four of the Pie sisters were no slouches when it came to escaping them. It was incredible how fast they all were, especially Pinkamena, who seemed like she was flying at times.

From early in the morning to well into the evening, the Pies and Cheese rotated between the usual rock farm chores and the filling up of the holes. They only took breaks for their meals and the occasional drink of water. Each day ended with them drenched in sweat and covered in dirt, and none bothered to bathe. Cheese ended up sleeping on the floor those nights, due to not wanting to stain the quilt and sleep with annoying grains of sand under the covers. He'd spend all night curled up under his poncho, sleeping until the inevitable rude awakening by Pinkamena in the morning.

His legs still felt like rubber, but he just kept working. Between the usual job of moving rocks, the needed task of filling up the holes, and his attempts at learning how to smell the differences between each of the rocks, he was just getting tired. Not as tired as he was after being chased by Hank, but still quite tuckered out when the day was only half done.

Still, there were no excuses to stop. He could only draw out his water breaks as long as he could without angering Igneous. If that meant "forgetting" to remove his glasses when dumping his entire head in the trough and ending up dropping them in, well, he definitely cherished every second of rest he had.

His mouth wrapped around a shovel, he scooped up some of the dirt-and-gravel mix from the pile, waddled to the big tunnel, and dumped it in. Along with Limestone and Marble, he went back and forth repeating the tedious process. The "shink" made when the shovel scraped the rocks made his fur bristle, and the pitter-patter of dropped pebbles as he dumped his shovelful into the hole made him just stare into the hole impassively. He watched a pair of pink hooves stretch forth and drag the dirt deeper into the hole before turning around and digging up another scoop.

Part of him desperately wanted to break the gloomy silence. Even if they were discussing the various kinds of rocks, how water could whittle away at a pebble, or if sandstone was the meaning of life, at least it wouldn't be so awkward. Silence was much less awkward when he was alone than when surrounded by other ponies who acknowledged his existence.

On the other hoof, not only was his mouth occupied, but he feared that he'd get on their bad side. The Pies were still tense after the whole Diamond Dog fiasco, and if Cheese said the wrong thing, he'd receive several heavy glares from them, especially from Pinkamena. But not from Maud. She didn't seem to care just what he did.

As Cheese leaned into the pile to shovel more dirt, he heard a deep "HOWDY!" a ways away, and soon found a pickaxe embedded in the pile about an inch away from his muzzle. He jumped in fright, dropped his shovel, and turned his attention to Igneous, who held a look of surprise and annoyance on his face. On the path that was yards away, there was a big green stallion and a pair of foals waving at the family.

Igneous growled and turned to the visitor. "Don't startle me like that! I nearly killed the hired hoof!"

The other stallion grimaced and shouted, "Sorry 'bout that!"

Cheese patted his muzzle, and imagined the mess that would have been made had the pickaxe landed a few more inches. Scrunching his muzzle, he picked up the pickaxe and trotted to Igneous. He wordlessly returned it to his employer and turned around to resume shoveling.

"Hey, now! Mind introducin' him ta us, Igneous?"

Cheese paused mid-step and turned to Igneous. The older stallion sighed, and tilted his head toward the visitor. Both of them walked to the path and met the large stallion face to face. Cheese looked down at the foals clutching their father's thick legs, and gave them a sweet smile.

"So, what's yer name, boy?"

Cheese jerked his head up, blinking at the mass of muscle that stood before him. With a nervous swallow, he answered meekly, "Cheese Sandwich."

The visitor chuckled and lifted a hoof. "Nice ta meet ya, Cheese. Mah name is Haralson."

As Cheese shook hooves with Haralson, the colt, now having lost the right front leg, started bouncing in an attempt to meet Cheese's eyes. "Ah'm Stayman!"

The filly clutching Haralson's left front leg twirled her pigtail and squeaked, "Mah name's Idared."

Cheese stopped the shaking and dropped his hoof. "It's nice to meet you folks." His eyes glanced between the jumping colt and the shy filly. "Especially you two."

Idared scanned Cheese from his hooves to his curly mane. She stared at his face for a few moments before setting her sights on his legs. She giggled, "Yer tall!"

"Oh, um… I know that. I've known it since I've had my growth spurt quite a few years ago."

Igneous rolled the wheat strand in his mouth as he looked at Haralson. "So, you weren't lying when you said you'd drop by."

"'Course not," Haralson said. "We Apples are an honest bunch. Say… may Ah ask about the holes?"

"Diamond Dogs."

"Oh."

"Yep. They broke the tools and stole the rocks, and while me, Maud, and Pinkamena were in town, they popped in. Cloudy and the others had to drive them off."

"Goodness, are they all right?"

"Of course they are, we've dealt with Diamond Dogs before!" Igneous glanced at Cheese. "He nearly run himself to death, though."

Cheese snorted and grumbled, "At least I got rid of him."

Haralson scratched his chin. "So, y'all have to plug up them holes? Well, then, Ah might as well lend a hoof."

Igneous sighed. "That's kind of you, but—"

"Oh, no, don't give me that. Cortland and Blossom can take care of our farm just fine. They've done it before when Ah've had to go on trips. Besides, Ah'd be happy to help a neighbor repair some damage; consider it as me repaying ya for yer help with the parasprites."

"That was years ago."

Haralson walked past him. "Better late than never. Stayman, Idared, you young'uns wanna help?"

"Sure, Pa!" both foals cheered.

Before either Igneous or Cheese could say anything, the three Apples ran out to the field to join the mares in the chores. The two stared for several moments as they started scooping dirt; Haralson with the shovel Cheese dropped, and the twins with their front hooves.

Cheese turned to Igneous, and smiled. "That was nice of them."

Igneous gave him a stony glare and growled, "Get back to work."

* * *

Seeing as his shovel had been taken, Cheese decided to help with gathering the rocks. Stayman and Idared followed him after a frustrating trial of using only their hooves to scoop up the dirt and gravel mix. Walking beside the cart pulled by Maud, the foals were more than happy to scurry around and chatter away to the both of them.

"Do you eat rocks?" Stayman asked, picking up a pebble and tossing it in the cart.

Maud glanced at the colt, and answered, "Some kinds of rocks. Salt is a mineral used for flavor. I've found a kind of rock that can be made into rock candy. We make stone soup and rock cakes."

Stayman nodded, picked up another rock, and licked it. Immediately after he grimaced and left his tongue hanging in disgust.

Cheese chuckled. "I don't think that rock's edible."

"Edible?"

"Um, eatable."

"Oh." Stayman threw the rock into the cart. "Then what's the point of rock farming?"

"Rocks have many uses," Maud said.

Cheese nodded. "They're used for construction, for scientists to study, and some of these things hide gems in them. Isn't there the occasional fossil or something, Maud?"

"We found one once. It was a tooth."

"Okey dokey, then. So… yeah, this isn't a useless occupation. Any other questions?"

"Are you ponies in love?" Idared squeaked.

Cheese and Maud glanced at each other, with the stallion raising an eyebrow. Then they both answered, "No."

Stayman groaned. "Didya have to ask that?"

"Of course! Cortland's been tryin' to get Pinkamena's attention. Shouldn't it be fair that her sisters find love, too? Who better than Mr. Tall and Handsome here?"

"I… don't think they're interested," Cheese said, throwing another rock into the cart. "I mean, me, handsome? Pssht, come on. Besides, if I try any of that, I'm pretty sure Igneous would kill me."

Idared gasped. "…does that mean he's going to kill Cortland?"

"It's just an expression, no need to worry." Cheese was grinning as he said that, though his thoughts trailed into the mention of Cortland. Apparently that was the stallion that Igneous was talking about when they had that interview a few weeks prior. And he had his eyes set on Pinkamena. For some reason, the thought of him hitting on her made his fur bristle, and he could feel his mane starting to, as well.

Shrugging it off as sympathetic annoyance—after all, he figured that she wouldn't be interested in anypony—he quickly changed the subject. "Okay, enough of the lovey-dovey stuff. Ask a different kind of question."

Idared shuffled her hooves. "Where ya from?"

Cheese had been picking up another rock when she asked that, and when the question hit his ears, he froze and dropped it. He bit his lip and scrunched his muzzle, and then breathed out, "…that's… not important."

"Why?"

"Because… because… uh…" Cheese groaned and repeatedly knocked on his head. He took a deep breath. "Because… I'm never going back."

"What about yer family?" Stayman asked.

Cheese snorted. "What about them?"

"Don't they miss you?"

Cheese sighed. _I doubt it, I'm the nopony of the family. _He blew another snort, and went off to gather more rocks. No doubt the kids would pry some more should he stay within proximity of them. If there was anything he didn't want to talk about, it was his kin.

The twins stared at Cheese for a minute, glanced at each other, and then looked at Maud hopefully.

Maud shook her head. "He hasn't told any of us. It's none of our business."

* * *

As Pinkamena swept the mound of dirt and pebbles into place, she couldn't help but feel disdain at what she was hearing from Haralson. She could hear him chattering, even from her place in the hole, and she wasn't too keen on his inviting the Pies to dinner.

"Mah offer still stands," he had said. "We'd be happy to have ya over!"

While Pinkamena liked the idea of socializing, the fact that this was Cortland's father made her less than enthused. The Apples were friendly folk; but Cortland was a little too friendly toward her. Last time they had met, Maud had to step in. She wondered if she'd have to buck him in the face before he took the hint.

She trotted to the opening and awaited more of the dirt. The talking was much clearer now, and she could hear her father's grumbled replies to what Haralson had to say.

"I told you, we have too much work to do."

"I dunno, y'all seem awfully tense. Ya sure you don't wanna unwind?"

"Haralson, have you forgotten the rumor?"

"Ugh… I've been going 'round town shootin' it down. I made Cortland promise to be on his best behavior should you accept. And who knows? Maybe Cheese could help dissuade those silly gossipers."

"Great… just what I need… a rumor about the hired hoof…"

"…Ah didn't mean to imply that…"

Seeing that there was a lack of dirt falling through the opening, Pinkamena popped her head out of the hole, and saw that the pile had been reduced to nearly nothing but a few pebbles. Sighing, she climbed out, and said, "Looks like we'll have to gather more."

The two stallions turned to her, as did Marble and Limestone. Igneous nodded, and then pointed to where Maud was pulling the cart. The mares picked up the shovels, and then made their way to their older sister.

* * *

After Maud delivered the rocks to their mother for sorting, the Pie sisters, Cheese, and the little Apple twins went to the outer part of the fields to scrape together more dirt. The firm soil was loosened and shoveled into the cart, and any pebbles that were accidentally scooped up were welcomed. Things were not quiet with the foals chattering away to each of them, and any questions they had were answered.

With the exception of personal questions asked to Cheese. No matter how much the foals prodded, Cheese would stay eerily silent. He'd wander to a section of the field by himself, loosen up some dirt, and just point at it for one of the mares to pick it up. He repeated this process until the cart was full and they had to go back.

That behavior drew some concern from Pinkamena. Seeing the usually warm stallion act like this was unsettling, and she wondered what was so bad that he would be so cold. From what she could read from her sisters' faces, they were a bit concerned as well.

Even as they hauled the gathered dirt back to the field, Cheese would be quiet. It was almost like he was in another world, one that he didn't want to be in. That garnered some curiosity within Pinkamena, and she wanted to pry into his mind and find out what was wrong. Of course, it would be impolite, but if she just knew, maybe she could help somehow.

Of course, Pinkamena knew she'd be no help. After all, whatever problems he had were probably too complex for a simple rock farmer mare. For now, considering the nature of the questions that had been asked, she was assuming he was an orphan.

The day dragged on until suppertime, and Haralson and the twins decided it was high time to go home. The Pies were out watching the Apples' departure, each just staring impassively. As they had left, Haralson made sure to add, "Think about mah invitation, okay?"

Igneous sighed and shook his head. "That pony sure is persistent. Now I know where that colt gets it from."

Pinkamena blew on her mane. "No kidding."

"Still, it's not every day someone offers to help," Cloudy said.

After everyone murmured in assent, they turned around to file inside the house. It was time for dinner, and they were going to retire for the night. And maybe they would have their long overdue baths.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaand here is a chapter that I had no idea what to do with! Seriously, after the whole exciting Diamond Dog fiasco, it was difficult deciding just what I should do next for this tale. But, now, you may rejoice, for I have produced another! **

**And it's more rock farming. And filling in holes. And a random visit from Apple family members. Yep, that's pretty much it. Not very exciting. :/**


	13. Unusual Incentive

A tiny mouse scurried across the dust. Small billows were kicked up as its feet pattered on the ground. Curiosity had overtaken the little rodent as it explored a new place. There was a wide open space full of nothing but dirt and rocks, which left the mouse wide open for any predators. But the mouse was focused on the possibilities of this new place, even if there was not much to it now.

It came across a wall. It looked up, amazed at the sheer height. It didn't look like any tree or rock that it had encountered before, as it was not only tall, but very wide. It gingerly placed a paw on the wall and felt the rough surface. What was this doing here?

It glanced to its left, and there was a hole. The inquisitive mouse approached it cautiously, and stuck its head in. When assured that it was safe, it crawled in and explored inside the wall.

Later, it came back out, and it scurried back to the forest it came from, eager to tell its friends about the wondrous place it had found.

* * *

Igneous Rock patted the dirt in place, a satisfied nicker escaping his throat.

It had taken a little over a week, but all the holes had been filled. He was quite thankful that they had made good time with the task, and now things could go back to the normal routine. He turned to the rest of the family and Cheese, who were drinking out of the trough. While they welcomed the break, there was no doubt that they would still have to carry on with the usual chores.

Igneous walked to the trough and drank in big gulps. Once he was finished, he looked up at the rest, and tilted his head toward the field to let them know that it was time to go back to work.

The afternoon dragged on as it always did. They were once again gathering rocks, hauling them, and sorting them. Boulders were busted, embedded rocks were dug out, and the unripe rocks were carefully placed in their spots.

Cheese was handling the placement of the unripe rocks quite well. Taking a bunch of them and holding them all with one of his front legs, he gently placed them onto the ground and nudged them into place. He could stand on two legs just long enough to place one down, and then returned to walking on three legs while one cradled the pile of rocks he carried.

And he had whistled before Igneous got annoyed and told him to stop, to which he meekly complied.

The work went on until suppertime loomed. Igneous hauled the ripe rocks into the barn with Maud, while the others washed up and went in to prepare for supper.

* * *

Cheese had set the table quickly, retreating to a corner to read a book. He felt bad for not contributing much to the preparations, but what could he do? He was an awful cook, with beans the only thing he could at least make decent. At this point, all he could do was wait while the mares made dinner.

At least he wasn't the only one. Maud wasn't that great of a cook either, he had been told. Of course, she had never seemed interested in it, so he figured that she never put in the effort to learn like her sisters did.

He scooted to lean against the wall, and his rump came in contact with something cold and hard on the floor. He jumped to his feet, and turned to see what it was. Curiously, it was a small handle to a door that occupied that very corner he was in. He scratched his head, wondering how he had missed the cellar door.

He leaned down and poked the handle, muttering, "What would they keep in a cel—wait. Probably more rocks."

Even so, something in the back of his mind told him that there was the possibility that there was something other than rocks down there. If there was, it probably grains used to bake in bread. He still poked the handle, debating whether or not he should check it out.

* * *

"All right, the rocks are clean and I've put them into the pot," Cloudy said. "Pinkamena, get the cheese. Marble, get the vegetables we need. Limestone, give me the salt and pepper."

The three girls nodded, and went to the respective places to gather the ingredients needed for stone soup. Despite the fact that there were stones in it, it was actually quite delicious. It was the meal that Pinkamena, Marble, and Limestone were the most pleased with, and they were definitely pleased that they were having it tonight.

Or so they thought. As Marble opened the cupboard, she gasped, and her eyes widened at what she found inside.

Even worse, what was inside had suddenly come pouring out like a waterfall onto the counter, the floor, and on Marble herself. The cacophony of squeaks drew the attention of her mother and sisters. They jumped at the sight of a tidal wave of mice crashing onto Marble relentlessly, with the pony and all of the mice with panicked looks on their faces.

A shocked Pinkamena turned back to do her job… only to find mice had gotten the cheese as well. She looked between the startled Cloudy and Limestone, the army of mice coming out of every nook and cranny, and Marble, who was going to scream in about three seconds.

* * *

As Igneous and Maud locked up the barn, a shriek came from the house. Igneous spun around, and looked at the house in concern, while Maud just simply turned and blinked.

"What the—what's going on in there?" Igenous muttered.

The two went to the house, and threw open the front door. A bunch of mice scurried between their hooves, but that was just a small fraction of the number of mice inside. The rodents practically made an undulating carpet on the floor, and they all squeaked in such a shrill and unorganized manner that an earache was inevitable. In the corner, mice were jumping at Cheese, who kept swatting them away with his book.

"Back off!" Cheese snarled, batting some mice away. "Back off! Just because my name is Cheese doesn't made I'm actually _made _of cheese!"

"What in blazes is going on here?!" Igneous shouted.

Cheese turned to the older stallion. "Isn't it obvious?! It's a mouse invasion!"

"Where did they all come from?!"

"Kitchen!" Cheese jumped as some of the rodents managed to sink their teeth into him. "YOWCH! Geez, I just said I wasn't made of cheese!"

_Are we out of rat poison? _Igneous thought. He sighed and walked in, making mice scatter as he took each step. Maud was right behind him, sweeping mice out of her path. She glanced at Cheese, stared at him for a brief moment, and then walked toward him. She plucked the mice off of him, and the two set to work on scaring the army of rodents out the door.

Igneous made his way to the kitchen, where a trembling Marble was curled up on the table, Cloudy was shooing mice with a broom, and Pinkamena and Limestone were wielding frying pans to swat mice like Cheese had been doing with his book. It was a scene that Igneous never thought he would ever see.

"Cloudy! Can you explain this?!"

Cloudy swept some mice out of the kitchen. With the broomstick between her teeth, she answered, "They jumped outta that cupboard onto Marble, and now they're running all over the place!"

"How did they get in there?!"

"We'll figure that out later! We've gotta get rid of these thieving rodents!"

Pinkamena banged her pan on the floor, sending some mice scattering. "So much for our soup!"

"Soup?" Limestone retorted. "So much for anything for dinner!"

Igneous groaned. "Door's open! Chase them out!"

"OUCH!" Cheese shouted from the other room. "Okay, that's it! It's rodent stomping time!"

The very next moment, loud, angry stomping could be heard, as well as an uproar of frightened squeaks. Igneous looked behind him briefly, and looked at the frustrated Cheese, whose curly mane was beginning to bristle, and whose hooves were making mice flee out the door with each step. Maud was just sweeping them out with her tail, and when some would try to scurry back in, she only made a single hard stomp, and the mice just ran back out.

Turning back to the others, Igneous said, "Come on, let's get these darn rodents out of here."

Armed with her broom, Cloudy nodded and continued to sweep, while Pinkamena and Limestone still threatened the mice with their cooking ware. Igneous was ready to take Marble off the table so she could help, but he was stopped when Limestone said, "Don't bother. You know how she gets when she's scared."

Igneous shook his head. _She can take on an army of Diamond Dogs without breaking a sweat, and yet she gets paralyzed by mice. _He let her be, and did his part in shooing the mice.

Mice were shooed from out of the kitchen, and in turn they were shooed out the door. By broom, pan, and hoof, the Pies and Cheese were fighting this army of tiny critters. Some tried to hide, but it was no use. These ponies were adamant about getting rid of every single one of them.

While some of the mice tried to fight back by biting the ponies, they were easily shaken off and brushed away by the broom. The clanging of the pans and stomping of the hooves sent the rodents into a panic, and they scattered left and right trying to escape the ponies pursuing them. Hiding under furniture was not much help either, for the ponies were strong and could lift it easily. The only way to lose these ponies was to make it out through the open door.

The rodent army had to retreat, for the enemy was far too large, and could easily crush them. Some tails had already been crushed by the skinny orange one, and none wanted to take the risk with the stockier equines. Biting them was only a mild inconvenience, and they had no other methods of fighting. Convinced that the ponies were going to eat them, the retreat was made.

The mice ran out of the door in a river, running faster upon hearing hoofbeats and the clanging of pans. Large and noisy animals the ponies were, and they were surely dangerous. There was no doubt that the mouse community was going to have to lecture the fool who lead them there in the first place. Innocent rodents could have been killed!

The river of mice went down to a stream, and then the stream went down to a trickle. The Pies searched every nook and cranny for any stragglers, shooing them out when they found them. They made sure to search for any mice that were dead as well.

And then Igneous checked the cellar. There was more, and they were all in the bags of grain. Or what was left of the grain. Luckily, the mice were stuck in the bags, so they simply took the bags out, dumped the mice and very little remaining grain out, and then took them back in.

After all was said and done, Igneous and Cheese threw the bags onto the cellar floor. Cheese looked around the cellar, having finally discovered what was down there. And as he guessed, not only was there the grain, there was a rock collection.

Igneous cleared his throat. "Well, boy, it seems we got rid of all of the mice."

Cheese was still looking around. "Mm-hm."

"Now we've got to find the hole they came in and plug it up."

"With a rock?" Cheese asked with a grin.

Igneous stared hard at Cheese, who averted his gaze once his grin fell. After the younger stallion mumbled an apology, Igneous went up the stairs. "Supper's late, and I'm hungry."

"Uh, yeah, me too," Cheese mumbled. His eyes swept the room one last time. There was the rock collection, the empty bags, an old bookshelf with some old books, and a trunk. And he suddenly became very curious about the last two.

"You coming?!"

Cheese jumped at the sound of Igneous' voice, and climbed up the stairs, glancing at the bookshelf and the trunk as he left the cellar.

* * *

"Well, that's just our luck," Cloudy grumbled as she looked through the cupboards. "That lot of mice devoured just about everything!"

Limestone groaned and glared at Marble. "By the way, thanks for the help. Your act of cowering on the table really scared off those mice."

Marble glowered back. "Well, excuse me if I got rained on by mice! How would you react to that?!"

"I'd just brush them off and fight them."

"Pfft, yeah, right. You freaked out at that grasshopper, remember?"

"I was five! And hey, it jumped onto my chest!"

"Well, mice raining on you is worse!"

Cloudy put a hoof to her face as her daughters argued. "It's times like these where I wish we had a cat…"

Pinkamena, growing annoyed by the argument of Marble and Limestone, brought her hoof down with a resounding _thud _and growled, "Enough. Marble helping us wouldn't have changed anything. They got there before we even came inside."

Maud stared at the inside of the cupboard that was currently open. "Looks like there won't be supper tonight."

Just as she had said that, Igneous and Cheese came in, having heard it if the sheer disappointment on Cheese's face was any indication. Igneous gave him a stern look and said, "You can survive. I'm sure you've been short on rations before."

Cheese brushed the floor with his hoof. "I know, I know… that still doesn't soften the blow."

"That wasn't the intention."

"Yeah… hey, didn't the Apples invite us to—"

"No," Pinkamena interjected, walking toward them.

Cheese glared at her. "I wasn't talking to you."

"Well, I'm sure Pa agrees. We can survive until tomorrow when we can buy some food from the market. In any case, I don't want to go to their farm."

"Well, I don't see what the problem is," Cheese said. "They're nice folks, and I don't really see the trouble that could come from one night."

"You haven't met Cortland."

Cortland. Already that name got on his nerves. Why was that? "Well… this could be my chance to meet him. I need to meet him before I form an opinion of him." _And I don't want to get all my information about him from you, Pinkamena._

"Oh? Well, you might have a chance tomorrow when we go to the market."

Cheese narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Something tells me you're afraid of him."

"I am not."

"You sure? It's not like he'll propose if we come over."

"Oh, you think that?" Pinkamena leaned forward, not caring that her nose was now touching Cheese's, and not caring for the surprise that flashed in his green eyes. "I bet you five bits that he would."

"Pinkamena," Igneous interrupted. "Get out of his face. Besides, it's my decision."

Pinkamena took a step back from Cheese. She watched him rub his nose, noting that he was scrunching his muzzle and blushing as he did so. He was obviously not used to a mare being that close to him. For a brief moment, she wondered how he'd react to a mare kissing him.

Igneous cleared his throat. "All right, so I have been mulling over the question of dinner at the Apple family's farm. Now that all the holes are filled, I suppose I can consider it. There are a few points of concern: One, there's the issue Pinkamena has with Cortland. Two, there have been rumors floating around about the first concern. And three, we don't know if they've already had their supper."

"Any points that should push us to go?" Cloudy asked.

"Besides the fact that we're hungry? Well, Haralson and I should discuss on how to effectively quash those dang rumors. Our entire family should lay down the law for Cortland to accept Pinkamena's rejection. Maybe Haralson will leave us alone after this. And of course, there's the matter of introducing our hired hoof."

Igneous sighed. "I suppose we could accept this one invitation."

Pinkamena's eyes widened. Was she hearing that right? "Pa, no!"

"Don't worry, he won't harass you when we're around. We won't let him."

"Igneous, are you sure about this?" Cloudy asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. After this, things will go back to normal. We'll restock our food tomorrow, get some rat poison, and we work the farm. Nopony else will come out here to bother us."

Somepony's stomach growled. Whoever it was, they didn't speak up.

"Now… let's see if they have room for seven more."

* * *

**A/N: I have no idea what prompted this. All I thought was "waterfall of mice falls onto a Pie sister" and then this happened. Can we just say poor Marble?**

**Anyway, I'm sorry for this lousy entry into the "Dinner with the Apples" thing. I wanted to go that direction, and I give you a lot of mice munching on all the food the Pies had. If I accomplished anything, I probably made you laugh at some point. **

**I had pretty much nothing else in my head that could influence the decision. **


	14. Evening with the Apples

It was a long and quiet walk, especially since the streets of Nickerlite were mostly bare as twilight approached. Few ponies were out and about, and those that were didn't raise a fuss about the entire Pie family having walked into town. However, as Pinkamena noticed, there were those who gave a passing glance, mostly looking at the lean stallion with them. And then they'd look at her and whisper to each other.

She blew some of her hair out of her face. She suspected that they were talking about her and Cortland, and if they knew the Pies were heading to the Apples' farm, things would get worse. The thought of being in the same house as that arrogant colt was bad enough. If anything, she wished that Lemon Drop had been the one to invite the Pies to dinner instead of Haralson. She was far more comfortable around the candy shop owners.

Noting the looks that the passersby were giving Cheese, she was a little worried about him somehow getting roped into the whole courtship rumor mess. After all, it had been years since Pa had hired a stallion, and Pinkamena was sure they'd suspect some kind of attraction between him and one of the Pie sisters. And who better for a juicy story than the pink mare torn between the eligible bachelor of the Nickerlite Apples and the bespectacled drifter currently employed by Igneous Rock?

_Hmph, I'm not torn between them, _she thought with a huff. _I wasn't attracted to anypony in the first place._

They were soon upon the orchard, and the smell of apples was wafting in the air. The scent hit her nostrils, and a hunger pang arose in her belly. She heard another pony's stomach rumble—whose it was, she didn't know.

They finally came upon a farmhouse in the midst of the orchard, and they were barraged with the scents of various foods, both apple and non-apple kinds. It made the emptiness of their stomachs all the more apparent, and had their mouths not been shut, they would have watered.

They made it to the porch, and Igneous sighed. "All right, we'll be on our best behavior tonight. We don't want to abuse the Apples' hospitality. Even if they have already finished their supper, we will be gracious guests. Understand?"

The mares gave single nods, while Cheese gave several rapid nods. After this affirmation, Igneous knocked on the door and waited for one of the Apples to answer.

It wasn't even five seconds when the door opened and Igneous was suddenly pulled into a bear hug. The perpetrator, Haralson, was throwing out a booming laugh as his legs were wrapped around the tan pony. The others gaped at the scene before them, wondering why he did that. Cheese stifled a laugh, and Pinkamena gave him a scolding glance.

"Hahaha! So ya accepted mah invitation after all!" Haralson chortled, squeezing his fellow stallion.

Igneous looked as if he already regretted his decision. "Let go of me."

Haralson released him and looked to the rest of the Pies and Cheese. "Well, don't just stand out there! Come in, come in!"

They entered the house, and Pinkamena looked around. The interior was decorated with an apple theme, and the room was quite warm and inviting. The couch and a couple of chairs were arranged against the back wall and a couple of corners respectfully, a white bookshelf against the left wall was filled with all sorts of books, and many pictures of the Apples' many relatives were hanging on the walls.

When a hoof went over her back and pulled her close to a large and strong body, she felt an unpleasant jolt inside her, especially when the pony who did it started to speak.

"Oh, Pinkamena! Ah'm so glad ya made it!"

She scowled upon hearing Cortland's voice. "Let go of me."

"Oh, but Pinkie! Yer so soft and huggable, even for a rock farmer mare. Why would Ah want to let you go?"

Pinkamena glanced at the direction of Igneous and Haralson, who both sported disapproving glares. "You want to be punished by your pa or mine?"

Cortland noticed the glares, and he immediately let go of her. Pinkamena drew close to Maud, who immediately patted her reassuringly. She didn't feel so hungry anymore, and she just wanted to run all the way home. Of course, not only was it rude, but it would make Cheese think that he was right, that she was afraid of Cortland. She knew that she wasn't; she just didn't like him.

Cortland looked up and saw Cheese, who had been watching the scene with a curious expression. Narrowing his eyes, he asked the lanky pony, "Who are you?"

Cheese stared at him for a moment before opening his mouth to answer. However, he was interrupted by Haralson answering for him. "That's the Pies' hired hoof, Cheese Sandwich. Ya know, the colt that yer sister was chatterin' about?"

As if right on cue, said sister ran into the room and latched herself onto Cheese's leg. "Whoo! Mah future husband's here!"

Cheese flushed when he heard that, and Haralson gave a hearty chuckle. Pinkamena glanced at Cheese's red face, and felt a strange tightness at the corners of her mouth and a small amount of pressure in her chest and throat, waiting to be released. It was all gone with a simple swallow, but she felt kind of bad for not letting it out.

Cortland snorted. "Ah was expecting somepony… younger."

Cheese quirked an eyebrow. "As in someone from the schoolyard?"

Idared stuck her tongue out. "No way! All the colts at school are icky meanies! Cheesy's really nice!"

"Huh." Cortland approached him, and scrutinized him with several quick glances at different areas of his body. "You really are a skinny thing. Ah'm not sure yer good enough for mah sister."

Cheese chuckled, taking it in stride. "Aw… really? Well, I suppose she does deserve the best Equestria has to offer."

"Yer plenty good!" Idared whined. "Any mare would be lucky to have ya!"

"Me? Nah. I'm sorry, but I don't think I'd interest any mare in that way. Just ask the Pies."

Marble nodded. "We're just thinking of him as a temporary brother. Although he does tell good stories."

"Whether they're true or not, they are very interesting tales," Limestone added.

Pinkamena could see slight exasperation in Cheese's face. Whether that meant that he really did have those adventures he talked about and he was frustrated that they didn't believe him or that he was in no mood for storytelling, she did not know.

Just then, a light pink mare with red hair in a bun popped out from the kitchen. "Supper's ready if y'all want it! There's plenty for everypony!"

"Thanks, Blossom," Haralson said. He glanced at Cheese and said, "How 'bout you tell us one of them stories at the table?"

* * *

The Apples didn't seem to care at all that the main reason the Pies came was because a mouse invasion stripped them of their food. They actually found it kind of humorous, even though the Pies didn't. Even so, the Apples were happy to share their meal with them.

The meal had a small variety of vegetables, consisting of steamed carrots, corn on the cob, boiled peas, and baked potatoes. A pot of hayballs in cheese sauce took up the middle, and cool applesauce had its place further away. Freshly baked bread was on its place on the table, with a stick of butter on a small platter beside it. Apple pie was on the table as well, directly opposite of the bread. Glasses of apple juice were arranged around the surprisingly large table, adjacent to the plates.

Maud Pie had been staring at her potato for a couple of minutes. The she smelled it in dry curiosity before she mashed it with her hoof. Stayman and Idared were spreading globs of butter on their slices of bread, licking their lips in anticipation. And everypony else was eating their meal and listening intently to Cheese's tale.

"…so that stallion had always had an attitude problem. April Showers threatened to fire him if he didn't behave during work hours, but when it came to break time and after hours, he would always give me a funny look, and said some pretty unkind things that I shouldn't repeat." Cheese munched on another hayball and wiped his mouth. "I'm sure he would have pounded me to dust had I not found ways to slip away every time he confronted me. Still, as big of a jerk as he was, I didn't expect him to get arrested."

"Arrested?" Haralson asked. "Fer what?"

Cheese rubbed the back of his head and glanced at the twins. "Well… let's just say there was a gruesome encounter with a calf."

Blossom gasped, the twins were confused, while the rest of the ponies sans Maud were wide-eyed. Cheese grimaced, the memory of the news of what his fellow employee did still giving him shivers. He hated to imagine the scene.

"Yeah, I don't know what happened to him after that, but it doesn't matter now. So, April replaced him with this mare named May Flowers. She was quiet at first, but she ended up a little sassy and she didn't quite understand the concept of personal space."

"Neither does a certain somepony at this table," Pinkamena muttered under her breath.

"So, after she had been employed a while, imagine everyone's surprise when she went to the doctor for a checkup, and discovered she was not only pregnant, but was due in a couple of weeks."

Cloudy blinked. "How in Equestria did she miss that for eleven months?"

"Beats me. But hey, her colt turned out pretty cute, and we all loved the kid." He popped a few more hayballs into his mouth. "I wonder how they're doing these days."

"I'm sure they're fine, Cheese," Haralson said. "Ah am sorry to hear about that former co-worker. Sounds like he woulda killed ya if given the chance."

"Ehehe… yeah…" Cheese mumbled, taking a sip of his juice.

Haralson turned to Igneous, and asked, "Didn't you used ta make reforming criminals work on the rock farm and that quarry in the mountains?"

Igneous was in the middle of chewing his potato when that question was asked. With a sigh, he swallowed and answered, "Yes… with mixed results. Had to stop once Maud was born."

"Ah understand completely. Wouldn't want those kinds of ponies near my flesh and blood, either."

"Puh, especially since they'd get into fights all the time. I needed to constantly remind them who was in charge. A rock farmer's strength comes in handy for those situations."

"And for threatenin' any suitors of yer daughters?" The Apple stallion leaned forward and pulled a wry grin upon saying that, and didn't notice Cortland's sour expression.

Igneous replied with a dead serious tone, "Yep."

Haralson's mouth formed into an O, and he nodded. Turning to Maud, who sat across from him, he asked, "Would you like some salt with that?"

"No thanks. This potato's fine."

"Oh! Oh!" Stayman squealed. "I want some salt, Pa!"

Haralson chuckled as the salt was passed to his younger son. "Careful now, we don't want too much salt on that."

Stayman rolled his eyes, and begin to salt the spud, only for the top of the salt shaker to fall off. The contents were unceremoniously dumped onto the potato, and there was a sparkling white hill now perched on his plate.

After staring for a few moments, he asked, "Can I still eat it?"

As Cheese chuckled along with the Apple parents, he couldn't help but notice the stare that Cortland was giving him. It would seem very neutral to the casual observer, but he could sense a fair bit of coldness in those eyes. It was very discomforting, and Cheese attempted to shake it off by consuming more of the hayballs.

He could still feel those amber eyes boring into him.

* * *

While the parents of both families stayed inside to talk, the Pie sisters, the Apple kids, and Cheese were all outside, most of them enjoying some apple pie. They were looking up at the night sky, with the twins counting the stars, Cheese searching for simple constellations, and the Pies deep in conversation about what the moon must be like.

"The moon looks like a hunk of pumice," Marble stated.

"Pumice?" Limestone said. "Are you saying a super volcano spat out the moon long ago?"

"No, I'm just stating what it looks like. The moon's origin must be magical."

"Maybe if we ever meet Princess Luna, we can ask her."

"Isn't the moon older than Luna or something?"

"Well… d'oh, I don't know!"

Maud, as she was pulling a fine specimen of a metamorphic rock out of the yard, merely glanced up at the moon, and mumbled, "I wonder what a moon rock is like."

Pinkamena was lying on her back in the grass. "I wonder what it's like actually being on the moon."

Cheese wanted to joke that the moon was made of cheese, but he held his tongue, feeling that they wouldn't be too fond of a quip like that. With a sigh, he continued to connect stars into a silly shape. He found himself connecting stars to form… a five-pointed star. Taking another bite of his pie, he looked at the twins, who had already passed a hundred.

"One hundred and one…"

"One hundred and two…"

"One hundred and three…"

"One hundred and four…"

"Wait, didn't we already count that one?"

"Idared! You'll make me lose count!"

Cheese finished the last of his pie, and stood up. "Well, I guess I'll just take my plate back inside."

He climbed onto the porch, passing Cortland in the rocking chair. He tried to ignore that icy stare, which frightened him even more than Pinkamena's did. He opened the door and slipped inside, interrupting the conversation taking place between the Pie parents and the Apple parents. They all turned to look at him.

"Oh, don't mind me. I just finished my pie."

Blossom smiled. "Coming in for seconds?"

"No, I'm full, but thanks for the offer." Cheese walked into the kitchen and set the dirty plate in the sink. He looked at the pie, which still had enough for four ponies to have seconds, and tried to guess who'd come in for seconds. Then he set off to walk out.

He froze in his tracks when he heard, "Haralson, aren't you worried that he'll get possessive of her?"

"Ah've talked with him, Igneous. Ah told him that 'no means no' and that it's obvious that she ain't interested. He accepted it without complaint."

"Ever crossed your mind that he might be lying just to please you? You saw what he did when we arrived!"

"Igneous, we Apples are an honest bunch. Sure, he slipped, but he told me he'd put in the effort to leave her alone, or at least talk to her like the normal pony she is instead of a mare he's tryin' to woo."

"I'm pretty sure he'll think that if I caved in to your invitation, then she'll cave in to his efforts of courtship. It's obvious he thinks of her as a prize!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down! Ah'm tellin' him there's plenty of mares in town, and if Pinkamena says no, he should just move on. And yes, he has retorted, 'she's just playing hard to get.'"

"'Hard to get'? She's made no secret that she finds him annoying."

"Ah've noticed."

Cheese decided not to interrupt their conversation again, and he slid out the door in the kitchen that led outside before another word was said.

Once the cool evening air hit him, he sat down and sighed. Was this whole Cortland thing that big a deal? Are they sure they aren't just making a mountain out of a molehill? He shook his head. If Cortland really was trying his best to court Pinkamena, then he was wasting his time. After all, she was a surly and stubborn mare.

Admittedly, she was kind of pretty, especially with her beautiful blue eyes, and she did help him out at times when he needed it, though it was just because she pitied him, he was sure. But Cheese still thought that trying to pursue her would only lead to a dead end.

Suddenly, he felt himself being tackled and wrestled to the ground. Before he had any time to comprehend what was going on, he was thrown into a tree. His head hit the trunk and he could hear a _thud _between his ears. Gritting his teeth, he had barely cracked open his eyes when he was pinned to the very same tree. Of course, his vision was blurry, meaning that his glasses had flown off somewhere between the tackle and being pinned to the tree.

"So… workin' for Igneous Rock?"

That was Cortland's voice. Cheese found himself with a lack of surprise.

"That must mean yer around the Pie sisters all day…"

"Yeah?" Cheese replied. "So?"

"Hmph." Cortland dropped Cheese, who still was against the tree. "It seems you have yer pick of Maud, Marble, and Limestone."

Cheese rubbed his head. "Excuse me, but—"

Cortland stomped on Cheese's tail, and had brought his face too close for comfort, especially since hot air blew out of his nostrils and onto Cheese's face. "Just don't touch Pinkamena."

Cheese squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. "Okay, first off, I'm their temporary brother. Igneous told me that wooing any one of his daughters is off limits. And second of all, last time I checked, Pinkamena is not yours. Heck, she doesn't even like you!"

Cortland chuckled. "She's just playin' hard ta get. She knows Ah like a good challenge."

"Good challenge, my hoof. You're just obsessed."

Cortland drew away, much to Cheese's relief. "Hm, yer right… maybe Ah am. Ah mean, pink just stands out at that rock farm, and it don't hurt that she's a lovely little thing. Years on that rock farm have made her mighty curvy, don't ya think?"

"Umm…"

"But ya still need ta heed mah words. Ah don't want to see no contact that Ah'll see as lovey-dovey."

Cheese rolled his eyes. "No lovey-dovey looks from me. I'm just staying as long as I need to."

"Good… very good. Ah'll win her over; you'll see."

_And I'll become an alicorn princess,_ Cheese thought. "Okay... where did my glasses go?"

"Oh?"

Cheese felt the glasses being placed on his muzzle, and he blinked a few times to adjust. Looking up at Cortland's face, he stood up, brushed his poncho off, and then started to walk away. "Thank you. Now, I suspect that we're going soon."

With a smirk, Cortland asked, "So… yer a wanderer?"

"Uh… yeah?"

Cortland shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Don't that mean yer family don't love you? Or do you even have a family?"

Cheese froze mid-step. He felt an icy coldness in his belly, and he looked down, pawing at the ground. His mouth was shut as tightly as possible, and his breaths came in quick, but heavy spurts. Part of him wanted to lash out at the other pony for saying that, but another part just felt like turning to stone.

Cortland chuckled. "Well… either way, you just don't belong anywhere."

With that, he went inside, and Cheese took heavy steps forward, taking his sweet time returning to the front yard. He hoped that Igneous and Haralson would just finish their conversation soon so they could get going. He just wanted to head back to the rock farm and curl up in his bed.

* * *

**A/N: And here we have the awaited "dinner with the Apple family" chapter! **

**So, the tale that Cheese recounted? It's based on a true story, involving real life horses. No, it was not in my local news; it was my dad's horses that were involved (and my uncle's unfortunate calf). So, yeah, we really did have a situation sort of like that, though the horse that lashed out was supposed to be gelded, and well… it was done… improperly by the previous owner (and yes, we put the horse down).**

**And we didn't notice that our replacement mare (bought after the whole calf incident) had been pregnant the whole time we had her until she was very close to the due date (a person with more horse knowledge than us noticed in time for everyone involved to prepare for the arrival). **

**The resulting colt has now grown up to be quite the handsome horse, and he's currently being trained to carry a rider. **

**Real life is stranger than fiction. Xp**


End file.
